International music expert Craig Davids yesterday uncovered a sinister side to the lyrics used by Tony Blair in his 1997 election campaign. According to aides working at both Number 10 and the White House, Mr Brown and Mr Bush have performed the song "Things can only get better" by D:ream as a duet in front of their wives.
Mr Davids, speaking exclusively to The Happening Place Team, said, "Once in the possession of the knowledge of the true context of these lyrics, I can see what they really mean. It's really quite worrying." After sucking on his pipe, Mr Davids continued: "The lines that make the most sense to me are 'And I can't see the world's formed trees/You set them alight, burning the bridges as you go/I'm too weak to fight you' - they really sum up Mr Brown's attitude to Bush and his environmental policies."
The Happening Place Team has reproduced D:Ream's lyrics below for your viewing pleasure. They would have included the actual music, but they're even more likely to sue me for that.
D:Ream - Things can only get better
You can walk my path
You can wear my shoes
Let her talk like me
And be an angel too
But maybe
You ain't never gonna feel this way
You ain't never gonna know me
But I know you...
Teach you now that
Things can only get better
Can only get, can only get
They get on from here
You know, I know that
Things can only get better
I sometimes lose myself in me
I lose track of time
And I can't see the world's formed trees
You set them alight, burning the bridges as you go
I'm too weak to fight you
I got my personal health to deal with
And you say
Walk my path
Wear my shoes
Talk like me
I'll be an angel and
(CHORUS
Things can only get better
Can only get better
Now I've found you
(That means me)
(Will you teach me now)
Things can only get better
Can only get better
Now I've found you
And you and you...
You... show me prejudice and greed
You show me how
I must learn to deal with this disease
I look at things now
In a different light than I did before
I found the cause
And I think that you could be my cure
And you say
Walk your path
Wear your shoes
Talk like that
I'll be an angel too
(chorus)
Things can only get, can only get
Things can only get, can only get
Things can only get, can only get
Things can only get, can only get
(chorus) 
