It turns out that the British Apathy Party are celebrating this morning after over half of the country voted for them with their feet in last night's English, Scottish and Welsh By-elections, giving them one of their biggest shares of the vote yet. Record numbers of people didn't vote in Scotland and Wales and the turnout in England was also low, bolstered only by postal voting.
"This is a huge victory for the British Apathy Party," said its leader, George B Standing, when we rang him up after he failed to arrive for an interview. "It goes to show that people are turned off by mainstream politics and increasingly are turning to parties who care as much about politics as they do like us!"
Membership of the party, however, remains at zero. "It's not because people don't believe in our cause," explained Mr Standing, who he himself has not bothered to register as a member. "It's because they're apathetic. They don't care enough about apathy to do anything about it."
However, despite the support the party has, it put up no candidates in yesterday's elections. "We thought about it," Mr Standing continued, "but then we thought no it might be raining, and we knew East Enders would be on. Nobody could be arsed really."
Official celebrations, consisting of each of the party's members "watching TV and eating pizza like they normally do on a Thursday night", continued until they gave up and went to bed.
