A Kentish farmer fractured his penis after ogling a teenage girl milking her goats, while carrying a heavy sack of feed. Farmer Jack Smith, 52, from the village of Sandhurst, had been moving the feed sacks to the barn when he stopped to watch sixteen-year-old Cheryl Smith (no relation) hitch up her skirt, squat down on a stool and grasp the udders of a goat. Smith became over excited and dropped the sack on his erect penis, snapping vital tendons and ligaments.
Doctor David Smith (no relation either) told Me: "I did what I could for him, but it's a toss up whether he'll ever play the the organ again.
When I attempted to contact the goats, they were unavailable for comment, but their agent, John 'thomas' Smith (related by marriage), told us: "To tell the truth, matey, they're so relieved they've not stopped celebrating since the accident.
Sheep from as far afield as Canterbury were heard to exhale huge sighs of relief when news of Farmer Smiths' accident reached them.
HAHA...that is awful, I love it.