I saw this amusing phrase of "Latin" recently.
“Imperiequeritis, tria pendent corpora ramis dis meus et gestas in media et divina potestas dimeas clanator sed jetas as astra levarut.”
However this phrase is actually a magic spell, supposed to alleviate pain and suffering caused by torture. Well, maybe. Maybe not!
The Latin language is the one being tortured here, because the original phrase looked like this (a little piece of Medieval Poetry):
“Imparibus meritis, pendent tria corpora ramis,
Dismas et Gesmas, media est divina potestas.
Gestas damnatur, Dismas ad astra levatur.”
Unequal in their merits, three bodies hang on the tree,
Dismas and Gesmas, and in the middle - God's Might.
Gestas is condemned, and Desmas is lifted up the stars.
*Reference to the names of the two criminals that were crucified alongside Jesus.
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The Lord Has Spoken!
A middle-aged Kentish Man was faced with a difficult decision when choosing between two lovely ladies, Anna and Mary, both willing to join him in matrimony. Although not a religious man, this Man stumbled into a church and, kneeling down in the pew, asked God for advice on whether he should have Ann or Maria for his wife. When the man got up he was most pleased to see that the Almighty had put the answer right before his eyes: ‘Ave Maria.
Vita non est vivere sed valere vita est
Life is more than merely staying alive
His loss! My confirmation name is that of Mary Magdalene
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Though I must say, when you aren't defending lost causes, you are so deliciously witty that I may consider remaining your loyal, if illegitimate, reader.