The fast food burger chain McDonald's has announced a surprising new move in an attempt to reverse its flagging fortunes at these difficult economical times. For the first time in the McDonalds long history, it is planning to serve food that people may actually want to eat.
Chief Executive Ronald McDonald explained the rationale behind the move. "I think we've taken the non-food idea as far as it can go. Previously we've managed to survive by constantly moving into new territories, so when one country discovers our food is crap, we can then move on to the next country. Unfortunately there's nowhere left to go now. We've got the Baghdad branch opening very shortly and that's about it".
Mr Ronald McDonald described how his people were looking forward to the new challenge. "Obviously we have no real experience of cooking decent food but I feel that some of the skills we do have will be transferable. We are very good at wearing caps which I'm sure is something we can carry forward and we have an endless supply of fixed grins which may well come in handy."
However, there are some changes that the staff are finding difficult to come to terms with. "The new terminology is causing us a few problems," explained one worker. "Terms like meat and fresh vegetables are not something the staff are familiar with. To avoid too many problems we're adapting some of the names to have a more familiar ring - something which is reflected in our new Mc-Meat and two Mc-Veg range".
Now whilst applauding McDonald's bold move, The Dead Synapses Society resident business analyst is not sure that the decision is a wise decision. "By branching out into actual food, they're going up against established players like restaurants and hotels," explained popular expert City Slicker Henry Fortiscue.
"You see McDonald's products have always been famous for having less nutritional value than the box they come in. People just don't identify McDonald's with food. I'm just not sure that the world is ready for a McDonald's meal you might actually want to eat."
eggbod
I bet Robin Williams likes Mcdonald's!
It all went horribly wrong for Big Ron when he wore those Rupert Bear trousers. Nobody minds food that is shite as long as it's served with sartorial chutzpah. And that's another problem they have. Their chutzpah came in those mean, irritating little sachets.