Browns TV Show!

In an attempt to gain more public support the Prime Minister has decided to host a new ITV chat show called 'The Brown Stuff'. The show will be aired every week and will feature a new topic of discussion each time.

"We believe the show will give Mr Brown a chance to once again regain the trust of his voters," said a Downing Street spokeswoman, announcing the move this morning. "The Prime Minister is also very keen to point out that the show will be aired exclusively on ITV and not on the BBC."

“Mr Brown is both mature enough and confident enough to put the Global Economic Crisis and Swine Flu Pandemic behind him and concentrate firmly on his career as a chat show host," she said. "I'm also pleased to announce that the Prime Minister will be recording a duet for "Britains Got Talent" with Trisha later this week."

The spokeswoman also firmly denied that the Browns studio would be shaped like the House of Commons. "Mr Brown wants to escape the image of a Prime Minister who's out of touch with his public. Instead, he wants to convey the idea that he's a 'groovy' young man who has a deep and meaningful relationship with his voters."

The show will apparently cover a wide range of topics, from adultery and racism to the European Union and immigration, although the spokeswoman was keen to point out that this wasn't just a way of helping Mr Brown reach decisions concerning government policies. She also denied that later topics might include the liberation of Iran and whether it's right to cheat in elections. "There's no truth to that, and neither is there any truth to there being cabinet ministers in the audience."

After this the spokeswoman became increasingly nervous, our reporter noted. "And before any of you suggest it, this isn't some scheme to create a new televised House of Commons without the Tory party or those annoying liberal Democrats." A few whispers and concerned looks later, the spokeswoman was escorted from the room and later disappeared from public view.