Beat Anorexia
Lucy Hamilton from Sandhurst Kent, a 22 year-old who has been struggling with the eating disorder anorexia for four years now, was relieved to hear, on a recent TV documentary aired on Channel 5 that all she has to do is eat and her disease will be cured.
“I have wondered for years, how can I stop this?" she said in an exclusive interview, with DSS. "I thought and thought, but I just couldn't figure it out. It was the hardest problem I had ever faced."

When the problem first surfaced, Hamilton was reluctant to go to a GP, believing she could fix matters herself.
"I tried some home remedies, like trying to pack lard onto my body in hopes that it would absorb into my skin and become weight," she explained. "I also tried sleeping with the food, as well as looking at pictures of food. But still I remained hungry!"

Finally, Hamilton saw her GP, who unfortunately was no help.

"Basically, my GP was baffled," Hamilton said. "She banged on my knees with her little hammer, she looked in my ears, the works. She even called in a bunch of specialists, like an osteopath, podiatrist and a chiropractor, just to make sure the problem wasn't coming from some random body part. But nobody could tell why I was losing weight."

But just when things looked their bleakest, Hamilton finally received a solution in the form of a Channel 5 TV documentary, “You Are What You Eat !”

"They actually got to talking about eating disorders in the UK, and someone said, “God, some people! Eat some food, you freaks, and stop complaining!” And that's when it hit me: I just had to eat. It was staring me in the face the whole time!"

Hamilton is already being offered jobs at numerous pharmaceutical companies around the country, with a representative from BAYER calling her "the best thing since the guy who invented penicillin."

"Miss Hamilton is setting a remarkable new trend in modern medicine, making everyone realize that they have to stop being babies, and just get better," the spokesman said. "Somehow, this amazing 22 year-old has managed to figure out the solutions to conditions that previously were thought to be rooted in deep psychological problems, or serious chemical imbalances in the brain, or some stupid bullshit like that."