The solution is obvious. First, we pay Carillion Plc one trillion pounds (plus expenses) to construct a 100X-scale Wall around the entire United Kingdom. Second, we will create another huge government bureaucracy to defend the country’s borders. We could call it the Ministry of Defence Department no, the Homeland Security Services Department.
Third, we force every human north, south, east and west of the Saxon Curtain to have a chip implanted that will display their retinal pattern, and detailed sexual preferences when scanned. The chip will be wirelessly updated by new "collar" mobile phones, which are locked on the neck when the child is tattooed with its non-UK resident number. All legal immigrants into the UK will have their collars deactivated for the specified period of their stay in the UK. However, when the GPS on the mobile detects that an illegal individual is at latitude co-ordinates on the "wrong" side of the Saxon Curtain, it will detonate a shaped cutting charge that will implode the individual’s head in a safe yet spectacular vertical collapse, a la Fred Dibnah.
Thus, we will finally achieve total immigration control and the goal of "a place for every individual, and every individual in their place." Forever! This will free up UK government resources for more important projects, such as helping our U.S brothers and sisters in suppressing Middle East oil production, nation building in the Third World, and bringing about democracy to Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran and North Korea.
eggbod
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