Michael Jackson
Joe Jackson the father of pop singer and once accused child molester Michael Jackson has reported that his son has possibly left the Terrestrial surface for good and may never return. Mr. Jackson told reporters that, "He is launching a new record label and that he has many great artists signed up, Oh, and you bastards drove my boy out this living world with your false accusations. You made fun of his nose and all of his Surgery. You made fun of his love for little boys. You made fun of the way he dressed and talked and acted. I hope you are all proud of yourselves!"

Speculation was heavy among the mourning community where Jackson would decide to settle on the spiritual plains. While the consensus was that he would most enjoy haunting an NCH Children’s home, other ideas were however proposed.

"I see Michael moving through the universe and using his musical talents to help train the angels and work with the world famous Vienna Boys Choir," said sister Janet.

James Earl Jones did not feel that Jackson would go back to his roots. "Are you kidding," he said. "Michael would not go back to an African spiritual home! He has spent his whole life trying to change from a black man into a white woman; what would an African spiritual plain have to offer him?"

French actor Maurice Chevalier said via a medium that he could not see Jackson coming to his heaven. In my heaven, we thank heaven for little girls, and that just does not seem much like Michael."