89% of homes in the United Kingdom with teenagers don’t have enough fun time!
Dover, Kent (DSS Newswire) — Teen Fun Perpetual United Friendly Assurance has recently launched its “teen fun time assurance” business. This service provides teens with a chance to both provide and securely share specific details of the lack of safety features in their parent’s homes before a party starts.
Teenagers are given access to an online database and then asked to fill out an online questionnaire. The questionnaire asks the teenager to fill in information about specific fun time items such as the location of firearms, knives, alcohol, condoms, sex lube, sex toys and pornographic material. This information is sure to help ensure a fun time for the teenagers.
In a recent study, researchers found that 99.9% of teenagers feel that there’s a need for this type of information. “It’s about bloody time!” said local teenager Gloria Solent, “Every time I go to my friends place for a party when no grown ups are there they never know where any of the cool stuff is. Now I can finally concentrate on enjoying myself at these parties”, continued Gloria.
“It is widely known that one of the main reasons teenagers don’t share this information is due to a lack of assistance with getting the word out, we aim to fill that need” stated Teen Fun Perpetual Assurance founder Charles Hook. “We can understand the concern some parents may have, but take it from us, we don’t give a shit” continued Mr. Hook.
Special Branch states that in 2008, 1688 teenagers were unable to gain access to important party materials such as guns, drugs and alcohol. They also state that 1,6 87,895 teenagers possessed such time sensitive information such as parent schedules and holiday dates but were unable to get this crucial info to their friends in time to have it positively affect the outcome of the party.
The database is designed to allow teenagers the ability to answer very important questions themselves by completing an on-line profile. The teenagers are then able to provide other teens access to this information by giving them a username and password that is created during the account set-up. The information is strictly confidential and can only be accessed by individuals that the teenager provides access too.
Among the various other benefits provided by this company is the ability for teenagers to purchase morning after pills, wipees, Kleenex, no-dose, energy drinks, and board games. “YES! I thank the LORD of The Rings for the fine people at Teenagers Fun Assurance! I have waited my whole life for the ability to have fun the way I want to. This is a dream come true”, replied Sharon Allbutt from Romford, Essex, when asked what she thought of this idea.
The main focus of the company is to create a free flowing information structure that allows unhindered fun and experimental behaviour amongst teenagers.
Hook says, “if our company helps just one teenager to have the most fun of their life and not have to worry about consequence, our job has been well worth it.”
