The British Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, has been taken to The Portland Hospital amid fears that he may take his own life. His once close friend and fellow father, Tony Blair, has released secret documents that show details of a new Labour campaign, if Gordon Brown loses the upcoming election. The first objective on the new Labour manifesto will be to form the pressure group "Fathers for Election ".
It is said that Mr Brown was so worried about losing the election and being forced to take a back seat. As his wife Sarah leads the line with all her charity work and writing her daily column. He had made a suicide pact with Sarah. A close friend to the Browns confirmed that, Sarah had agreed with the pact and said, if he loses, he goes.
A squad of twenty Special Forces soldiers dressed as Barack Obama swooped in on Downing Street today. Mr Brown thought it was his best friend Barack coming for breakfast and opened the door willingly. He was then shackled in the Abu Ghraib style and whisked off to the newly revamped private room at the Portland. The Jacksons are also said to be worried about the Prime Minister. Mrs Jackson still remembers how the battle for parental rights over Michael’s love child, Bubbles, affected Gordon in the 80's. The tug of love over Bubbles is thought to have forced Mr. Brown into a vow of celibacy until his marriage to Sarah in August 2000. Missing out on the Neverland experience has always preyed on Mr. Browns mind. Staff from number 10 have kept secret the fact that the British leader is often seen in a Peter Pan outfit and sliding down the banisters at the Whitehall residence.
If the suicide pact comes to fruition, it is thought that the freeview TV Channel, Bid up TV, has signed Sarah Brown to a 50 year contract. A company executive is delighted that Mrs. Brown will be the presenter for their new daytime show "Here today gone tomorrow ". Sarah will be promoting her new range of Beauty Care Products, aimed at the busy woman about town, who doesn't give a jot about what she looks like.
The Browns were unavailable for comment today. Mr. Brown was said to be too busy having lashings of ginger beer with the lost boys. Sarah gave no real excuse to our reporter. "Piss Off” was taken as Mrs. Brown was busy.
