Jordan
Burka, Pakistan – Katie Price aka Jordan shocked fans and the media world today when she announced she is giving up her mediocre career to be come the 21st wife of Osama Bin Laden.

Jordan was said to be taken by his charm, charisma, Spartan life style and sans toilet paper, up in the mountains of Pakistan. Jordan spoke to DSS via satellite phone this afternoon.

“Hello, is this the Andre residence?! You see what you have drove me too you bastard! "You're the lowest of the low and I can't even believe I ever married you.
"Sick is exactly what you are. People have got into your head. It's unbelievable how you've changed.”

“I hope you're happy now!...Oh is this the interview? I'm so sorry, I'm still adjusting to the thin air up here, I thought I heard Peter in the background." (Machine gun fire, music and shouting) "The guys are pretty happy today, that's what you're hearing, they're celebrating, I told them Gordon Brown is surrendering, and that Osama and I are going on our honeymoon tonight.”

We then asked Mrs Laden-Price what a honeymoon there would entail. “Well really it is pretty romantic. I get to carry a 190lb pack up a mountain, in my Burke, to a small cave, where I will cook a goat and set up a bed for Osama and I. Then after I kill him for being a sadistic, sick, male chauvinistic bastard, I'll return to the UK and continue my career.”

Mrs. Laden-Price then went on to explain how she really loved goat meat and the non-toilet paper life style, but being the 21st wife was the pits, because the other wives hate her guts.