Burning_Witch
London-Trafalgar Square: There were violent angry scenes today when witch finders from all over the country descended on London to protest against parliament’s unanimous vote to abolish the burning of witches in both England and Wales.

Kelvin Higginbottom is a Witch Finder from Lancashire who could seek out and burn witches almost before he could walk. At the age of seven, he joined the local Witch-hunt to begin to learn how to follow in his father's footsteps.
Mr Higginbottom He said, "If Witch Burning is banned, I will lose my job and my home, as the house comes with the post. And if that happens, I'll be knocking at the door of 10 Downing St demanding my wages every Friday.

"He went on to say” for generations we have been burning witches and see this ban as a personal attack on our livelihoods from them no-it-all city folk. Even though me dad bought this manner two years ago as a second home from the city "

"Just tell me who will now protect our crops and harvest from spells being cast on our land? Many people will lose their jobs because of this ban, like the confession extractors, the men who carry out the ducking, the priest, the horsemen used to track down the witches, the woodsmen who cut the kindling for the fire, the man who lights the flame and the gossipers and whisperers who bring the witch to our attention."

"And to top of all this we have only been given around 5 years to prepare for this and now we have this verdict it is to sudden, the horses will have to go straight to the glue factory for a start, we have had an offer for them from a retired horse charity to look after them, but that would be less controversial and we cannot use the horses welfare as an argument then."

"Look If democracy is when a decision is made from a majority vote then I don't want to know."

In further developments a wax jacketed donning terrorist managed to elude security at the houses of parliament and get to the main chamber.

An MP commented “this is outrageous, our carpets had only just been cleaned in the chamber and now we are having to have it re-cleaned because of them bumpkins traipsing mud up and down it in their dirty muddy wellies, just look at the state of my trouser bottoms, filthy! This will cost the tax-payer dearly.