According to the latest NHS figures released this morning H1N1 infections rose by 32,000 new cases last week in the UK. Swine Flu (also called hog flu, pig flu , Potbelly Hog flu, Police flu and the heaving shits) is an infection of a host animal by any one of several specific types of microscopic organisms called "swine influenza virus" by those who like confusing people.
This year the media labelled as "swine flu" flu caused by 2009's new strain of swine-or hog or police origin A/H1N1 pandemic virus just as it had earlier dubbed as "Avian flu" flu caused by the flu bug recent Asian-linage HPAI (High Pathogenic Avian Influenza)(See confusing people) H5N1 strain that is still at it's endemic stage in many wild bird or wild goose species in several countries.
A mixture of any of these, especially with the Swine Flu, can create what is called a B1N-G0! and you die.
That mixture is getting closer, some scientists think, as it has merged with the dreaded Primate Pox.
"The main trouble with the mixing with the Primate Pox", stated Doctor Charles Digby, "is that the victim who gets both, will not only get the shits from the Swine Flu but with the Primate Pox, often hurl it at people who will most certainly get it themselves if not cleaned immediately, then hurl their own faeces at others..an epidemic."
The National Health Service in most countries has warned their citizens to report anyone coming up to you with a cup held out for loose change, which is the first stage of the pox.
Also, beware of what he or she may have in their other hand!
