London- Drug Squad Officers have arrested eight people after seizing over ten pounds of innovative sperm-flavour cocaine.
Squad Superintendant George Halo said today, the find is a departure from recent banana, strawberry and coconut-flavoured coke which has flooded the market due to demand for wholesome, organic, fruit flavoured intoxicants.
"We've monitored this trend and heard users' reports that even though cocaine is snorted through the nostrils, it can still be tasted."
"Lots of coke-fiends have complained that regular cocaine gives a medicine taste in the back of the throat, so we sort of understood the market move to fruity flavours."
"But this new sperm-tasting coke has us completely baffled."
Halo dismissed reports that the latest impounded contraband may have just been "ejaculated into" by a careless or spiteful supplier before being circulated onto the streets:
"We're pretty sure it's part of the fruit-flavoured range. Maybe it's just a nostalgic thing for the celibate, perhaps to remind them of the sex lives they once had?
"Yea, Nah, I don't swallow that one either."
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