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Nursing Staff are to be assessed and rated according to the levels of empathy and care they give to patients under a new initiative to raise standards in the NHS.

Health Secretary Andy Burnham said he wants the performance of every nursing team in every ward across England to be scored, with the results displayed on an official NHS website.

Talking to DSS Burnham said: "I recently spent 10 days in St Thomas's Hospital, London. I had what is medically termed(Caput capitis stuck sursum rectum ). Apparently I have been suffering with it for some time. The surgical team obviously played an important part in my care but I can honestly say that it was the attitudes of the young nursing staff that had the greatest impact on my recovery. There is no doubt that a smile and a flutter of the eyelids can have a remarkably therapeutic effect."

Nursing Staff will be awarded points for displaying certain behaviours with bonuses being paid to high scoring staff.

An example of how the points system might work is published below.

1 point for cleansing hands before approaching a patient.
2 points for waving or winking at a patient.
3 points for catheter removal without using the leg for leverage
4 points for a manual evacuation delivered with a comforting smile.
5 points for bed pan removal without turning ones head in disgust.
6 points for a flash of a suspender.
7 points for a surprise early morning bed bath.
8 points for an unnecessary testicular examination.

The proposal will be launched in London on Monday at the annual conference of the NHS Confederation. However the proposal is not without its critics.

Dave Prentis, the General Secretary of UNISON argues: "All this scoring system does is re-establish the outdated view that nurses are objects of fantasy. I thought we had moved away from the idea that all nurses were hard drinking, big busted nymphomaniacs from Dublin. 4 out of 10 health workers are male now anyway. When a big hairy hand is half way up your backside would a smile and a wink really make things more pleasant?"

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