Chancellor Angela Merkel — reunited Germany's first leader to grow up in the communist east started the day with President Horst Koehler and other leaders at a prayer service at a former East Berlin church that was a rallying point for opposition activists in 1989.
Buoyed by the celebrations Chancellor Merkel said.
"What we now need is a strong nation to take the lead in a Single European Unification process," said Merkel. "And, as Europe's leading economy, I believe that nation should be Germany."
When asked what would be the nature of Germany's role in such a federal Europe, Chancellor Merkel said: "Of course, such widespread unification will take some time. My thoughts are that first the smaller, Nordic nations of Sweden, Finland, and Norway might release their independent status and become part of the German nation, or perhaps Reich might be a better term for it. Then, we shall invade Poland. Ah, but did I say invade? Of course, I meant include Poland - forgive me my English is letting me down sometimes."
But, in mentioning England, Merkel's eyes narrowed and her tone grew more menacing. "And then it will be your turn, Tommy," she growled. "Only this time you will not stop us with your stiff upper lips and your Vera Lynn with her British spunk all spouting and spurting."
Chancellor Merkel’s proposals have not been met with universal approval. French Premier Nicolas Sarkozy has called upon other European states to boycott such far-reaching unification.
"Already we have men onioned-up and on bicycles ready to whisk away secret agents to safe houses. Here they are sure to fall in love with dainty, French Resistance women who will be shot amid poignant music just as they are about to escape back to Blighty."
Italy has already surrendered just in case. Russia has asked for more time so it can see who is winning before picking a side.
Chancellor Merkel was quick to pour scorn on such concerns.
"It is nonsense to think we Germans have not learned from our past," she said, practising her goose-stepping. "We are nice people, now, and you will like us having complete control over your lives."
Gordon Brown was busy kissing American bottoms and so was unavailable to comment.
