Tehran: 11/11/09:07:10 Middle-Eastern time. A camel laden with battery powered hammer drills, fire extinguishers and electric chainsaws was impounded by US Officials as it tried to board a ship headed toward Italy.
US Defence Secretary, Robert Gates, said today "Okay, Okay, we must admit to our mistakes, in Iraq we only thought there were some Weapons of Mass Destruction (WMD) and that was good enough excuse for us to invade. Now our people are wiser, we now have all the evidence that is needed of the existence of WMD and therefore we now have their support. Now all we need is an ally. Great Britain is usually game, their support will give us an easy victory in Iran, why the war could be over well before Christmas!"
"The camel, looked suspicious from the outset. His eyes were too close together for starters; and then there was the matter of his 3 humps; he was photographed coming out of a mosque in Tehran with his handler who just turned out to be Zahin El Afterdinnerjab, the local Imam. Afterdinnerjab tried to explain that his name was Humphrey, for that very reason we could see straight through that one. Arabs don't tell jokes!" Gates added.
A CIA spokesperson was said to have said to have said to be rumoured to have said: "We have investigated the Imam who purchased the innocent looking tools from Sabre Rattling R Us, a DIY shop, and found that they do have a purpose.
The chainsaws are to cut up the wooden Rosary beads used by Catholics; the drills were used to puncture the golden chalices for the Communion wine and the fire extinguishers were to put out the fires on those incense burners that are waved around by priests. Furthermore, the camel and handler were headed for The Vatican City for next week. On Saturday, Mass will be held to celebrate the beginning of advent and so we can obviously see that these were weapons of MASS DESTRUCTION."
"If Britain won't help us (after all the help we gave THEM in WWII, Northern Ireland and the Falklands) then perhaps the Vatican city Guard may give us a hand?" he added.
The camel has experienced several months of trauma at a suspected terrorist training camp and once debriefed, will be cared for by Billy Smart's Circus currently on tour in Saudi Arabia.
