Morag
A Scottish woman of 28 yrs, Miss Morag Mc Doublechuff who has "two vaginas" appeared on the Jeremy Kyle show yesterday causing a sensation.

When asked to show her twin pussies it turned out to be a hoax, she was as normal as anyone else.

"Well what's the other hole then?"

She asked the show's resident gynaecologist Dr Piers Upham-Daily.

"Well, on close inspection I would say that is your anus dear lady, hadn't you noticed anything sort of normal coming out of it from time to time?"

"How could I, I'm not a contortionist, and anyway it spends most of its time singing to me. I get so bloody fed up I have to sit on it to muffle the sound. What would you do if your vagina kept singing "The Road to Hell" and selections from "The Sound of Music" day in day out?"

Dr Upham then asked,

"Well why where you under the impression it was another vagina?”

"Well it's Rab, my bloke you see, he told me it was and he proved it by putting his thing there, you know inside like. It worked just the same and he seemed to like it and he said that I could make a packet showing it off on the TV. And it shut it up for twenty minutes!"

Jeremy interjected,

"So you let him sodomize you unknowingly for how long?"

"Let him what? That's disgusting! I'd never let him do that, I'd catch buggeritis or Gomorrahaea or something."

Jeremy then shouted, "Hey are we going out live? Have we time to change the titles? Where's the lawyers? Will we get sued for not delivering two vaginas? How about madwoman's ass sings her lullabies?"

"Will I still get ma twenty grand?" said Morag,

Jeremy shouted, "Hey gal stand up, anyone got a frigin microphone? By the way you ain't related to that guy who said he had two cocks but turned up with two roosters are you? Or that one with two asses that turned out to be a couple o' frigin' mules?"