The government has a secret plan to merge Cornwall with Wales into a new Celtic Principality State to be known as 'The Royal State of Kernowek-Cymru' DSS has learned.
The plan originated during 2005 as a response to the need to simplify what had become a complex system of titles for the then newlyweds, Prince Charles and Camilla Battenberg-Saxe-Coburg-Gotha, alias Windsor.
Prince Charles also has the titles Prince of Wales and Duke of Cornwall (except in Scotland, where he is the Duke of Rothesay), and a number of minor ones such as Earl Marshall of Bootle and the Wirral.
Mrs Battenberg-Saxe-Coburg-Gotha is also known as the Duchess of Cornwall and the Duchess of Rothesay. Although she is also entitled to be called Princess of Wales.
The plan came to light after Sir Malcolm Parish, a Clarence House spokesman, alluded to leek-flavoured clotted cream during an off-the-record chat with our national affairs correspondent at the Game Cock Inn.
After first refusing to clarify his odd allusion, and with the benefit of another five pints of Stella inside him, Sir Parish then revealed and described the plan.
He said that with all the possible permutations of titles for the royal couple it was becoming increasingly difficult to keep track.
He noted that stationery costs alone were rapidly getting out of control, as a different set was needed for every title for the royal couple individually and jointly.
However, the main problem was making sure that when either of the couple signed official correspondence the correct letterhead was used.
"Imagine, for instance, how confused a Duchy of Cornwall tenant farmer would be if he got a letter from the Duke of Rothesay telling him that henceforth he could only grow organic turnips and by the way his rent was going up," he said.
"Our Secretarial Staff has gone from just two, to twenty two!"
He said that Prince Charles has mounted a vigorous letter-writing campaign to Prime Minister Cameron and his Cabinet extolling the virtues of merging Cornwall and Wales in the first instance, and with the Isle of Bute possibly to follow if the amalgamation were successful.
Mr Cameron, he said, had finally agreed on the grounds that he had more pressing things to do other than reading the incessant stream of princely correspondence.
The combined Cornish and Wales Principality would be called ‘The Royal State of Kernowek-Cymru’ and the Isle of Bute where Rothesay is located, will also be declared a principality pending its possible full merger into Kernowek-Cymru.
The seat of government will be at Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch.
Sir Parish said.
“Prince Charles and his good wife will take the titles Prince and Princess of The Royal State of Kernowek-Cymru and Rothesay and abandon all others”.