The Dead Synapses Society

• No Sex-Were British! From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (14 hours old)

  London – Westminster: A bill passed Parliament today, outlawing the possession of "extreme pornography" is set to become law next week. However the law, which encompasses 'violent sexual act’s could… more

• Orange Fruit Juice Causes Influenza Shock! From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (14 hours old)

  United Kingdom – Oxford – A Scientific report released today by UK Scientists contains startling new information in reference to orange juice and the common cold. Experiments conducted by Oxford … more

• I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here! From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (19 hours old)

  Time was being called on the reality TV programme 'I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here' after former Eastenders star Lucy Benjamin was brutally clubbed to death and eaten. The drama unfolded after… more

• Viagra Spill Revives Loch Ness! From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (1 day old)

  Scotland-Inverness — A Coastal freighter containing 62,000 metric tons of popular impotence drug Viagra heading for Inverness struck a submerged rock outcrop and sank in Loch Ness today. As a result… more

• Englishman Found Guilty of Sexual Breach of the Peace. From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (1 day old)

  Following last week's barmy decision by a District Judge in Wales that a man who masturbated with a Tricycle in a hotel room was guilty of sexual breach of the peace, another District Judge in Wal… more

• Stolen Pregnancy Diaries Appear Online! From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (1 day old)

  Kent: When four women from Bromley sat down to document their experiences of first-time pregnancy and childbirth, their instinct was to be as blunt on paper as they were with each other. However … more

• Katie Price Admits Masturbation Habit. From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (1 day old)

  London: 31-year-old former glamour model, television personality and businesswoman Katie Price revealed in an unusually candid portion of her new book "Rogue Woman" that she frequently masturbates. … more

• Women are an Endangered Species! From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (1 day old)

  London: Professor Christopher Sheasby O.B.E, Principal Director of Public Health for the United Kingdom has placed women between the ages of 25 to 49 years of age on the Departments endangered speci… more

• Women's Medications Affecting fish! From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (2 days old)

  United Kingdom: Bristol - Some male fish in parts of the River Seven are developing female characteristics, possibly because they're being exposed to birth control pills and hormone treatments that … more

• Katie Price Complains that Her Boobs are really Cold! From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (2 days old)

  I'm a Celeb Get Me Out Of Here! contestant and all round useless bitch (who we'd never even heard of prior to this because we don't read the Daily Star, the Sport or waste our days viewing reality T… more

• Larger Condoms! French Claim. From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (2 days old)

  Strasbourg Reuters – The French have never been shy in putting themselves "First Amongst Equals", a recent self administered study indicates that French men measured up bigger than the rest of their… more

• British Told to Have Sex with the Norwegians! From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (3 days old)

  London: — Reacting to a new report claiming young people in Norway are less likely to get pregnant or carry sexually transmitted diseases than their British counterparts, U.K. health officials today… more

• Lesbian Spectre Haunts Small UK Town! From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (3 days old)

  Worksop, Nottinghamshire: A lesbian ghost has been spooking the small town of Worksop and the locals in the area have created a group to hunt down the Spectre. Josh Higginbottom the leader of th… more

• Sex Toys To be Sold in Christian Book Stores. From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (3 days old)

  London:UK: Queen of Pop Madonna held a press conference this morning to announce a new product line that she will market to Christian Book Stores and Reading Rooms all across the United Kingdom. … more

• Susan Boyle Buys Nudist Resort! From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (4 days old)

  LA, California - The now brunette Gaelic rich girl Susan Boyle, has just announced that she has finally achieved her life-long dream. She has just signed the papers and is now the full and compl… more

• MEN DO TALK ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS! From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (4 days old)

  United Kingdom: According to a new study, young women speak more frequently and frankly about sex and sex-related subjects than men do. But this isn't true. Men speak about sex and relationships … more

• Monogamy Study. From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (4 days old)

  United Kingdom: London — According to a Department of Health study, monogamists who are married to more than one spouse at a time have a significantly greater chance of becoming polygamists than tho… more

• Safe Sex - All Condoms to be labelled with the Correct Size! From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (4 days old)

  SEXUAL INTERCOURSE: United Kingdom – New Drug labelling laws will soon require that all U.K. Condom manufacturers use more accurate size labelling for their products. British condoms presently co… more

• Enjoying A Little Pussy, Helps You Live Longer! From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (5 days old)

  Norway: Oslo - At the Nordbar Institute, researchers have stumbled on an important link in helping men live longer. There have been connections made before, but doctors at the famed Institute have f… more

• STUDY FINDS WOMEN WHO DRINK HAVE MORE FUN! From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (5 days old)

  Great Britain: Cambridge — According to a new study on female alcohol use and blood pressure, young women who consume two or three alcoholic drinks a week are much more fun to do research on than wo… more

• UK Repels Zombie Attack! From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (6 days old)

  London: Balham: – Addressing earlier accounts that one of his key ministers was engaging in intercourse with a stripper in a cemetery, Gordon Brown announced today that his office had successfully t… more

• Belfast Woman With the World’s Largest Vagina Loses Bicycle! From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (7 days old)

  Northern Ireland: Belfast - Bridgette O’Flaherty is looking for her bicycle. The bike in question, a £1,000 Raleigh Express model, strangely vanished during the annual Lance Armstrong Melee at Be… more

• Woman With Two Vaginas. From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (7 days old)

  A Scottish woman of 28 yrs, Miss Morag Mc Doublechuff who has "two vaginas" appeared on the Jeremy Kyle show yesterday causing a sensation. When asked to show her twin pussies it turned out to be… more

• Viagra Doesn’t Work on Women SHOCK! From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (8 days old)

  Great Britain- Kent: Phizzer Pharmaceuticals’ has pulled the plug on a 5-year research programme into the effects of Viagra on women after it appears that it makes no difference to their sexual sati… more

• My Son The Soldier. From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (9 days old)

  My Son the Soldier How great a man he must be To be joined in the fight to set another part of the world free. My Son the Soldier So very proud of you we are To all of us who love you, yo… more

• Sex Is Best Cure for Lack of Sex! From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (9 days old)

  Edinburgh-Scotland: Researchers at Edinburgh University following an exhaustive five year study by an international field of noted researchers and scientists, confirmed today that the pure act of se… more

• US Set to Invade Iran. From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (9 days old)

  Tehran: 11/11/09:07:10 Middle-Eastern time. A camel laden with battery powered hammer drills, fire extinguishers and electric chainsaws was impounded by US Officials as it tried to board a ship head… more

• Leading Politician Eats Kids! SHOCK. From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (10 days old)

  An explosive DSS investigation has discovered no evidence to contradict claims that Speaker of the House John Bercow eats plump young children. The investigation follows Bercow’s headline-grabbin… more

• Life Isn't Always Funny Is It? From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (10 days old)

  For a Friend. Life isn't always funny is it My emotions are bottled up inside me No one can feel, no one can see No one can comprehend How I feel, who I am How much I'm hurting, crying out f… more

• Phone Sex-Error! From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (10 days old)

  Terry Thomas, an unemployed milkman from Tonbridge, Kent, who dialled a Phone Sex line by mistake while attempting to call the Samaritans suicide helpline, made headlines today after his attempt to … more

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