The Dead Synapses Society

• Siamese Twin Sisters To Split! From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (1 day old)

  In what has turned out to be quite a shocking story, Siamese twin sisters Alecia and Gabrio Chinzano are to split up over an apparent illicit affair. Alecia Chinzano had been seeing boyfriend, To… more

• Flying Pig Spotted Over Scarborough! From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (2 days old)

  Approximately 200 people spotted a flying pig over Scarborough yesterday. The event occurred at around 13:30hrs and said pig continued to soar about for approximately thirty minutes, much to the ama… more

• Teenager Seen Using Public Phone! From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (2 days old)

  Embarrassed- fifteen-year-old, Katie Price, was spotted making a call from a public phone booth yesterday evening. "Look my mobile just freaked out on me, honest it did!" she pleaded to passers-… more

• New Nostradamus Predictions Found! From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (2 days old)

  Prophecies made by Nostradamus, uncovered for the first time since the 16th century, state that Uri Gellar is actually set to rise to prominence in the world of astrophysics, and become one of the m… more

• The Illness Debate Continues! From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (3 days old)

  Once upon a time and not that long ago, the UK just had to worry about its raging drug problem. Now, there is a new social plague hitting our streets, and it is people who deal and take illness pure… more

• Masked Raider Strikes Again. From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (3 days old)

  The Masked Raider of Swansea, known locally as “The Masked Raider of Swansea” and nationally as “The Masked Raider of Swansea” yesterday spoke out against people who tease ants by laying a trail of … more

• US Flag Satanical? From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (3 days old)

  A study conducted here in the UK by professional scientists who wish to remain anonymous due to the controversial nature of their findings, discovered that many features of the American flag were Sa… more

• Prince Harry to Command SAS. From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (4 days old)

  Whitehall – London: In a press conference today arranged at the UK Ministry of Defence, Brigadier General Sir Spencer Cameron confirmed growing speculation that Prince Harry (third in line to the Br… more

• Santa Claus Forced To Outsource! From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (4 days old)

  NORTH POLE (Bloomberg Report)-Prohibitive production problems and local labour loopholes have forced Old Nic’s little helpers to seek alternative budgetary strategies or else cease global toy distri… more

• Life Guard found Dead in Bath Tub. From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (4 days old)

  Swansea: South Wales: - In what appears to be life's greatest irony, Broderick Griffiths, a 33 years old lifeguard who dedicated his whole life to save others, was found dead by his wife Gwaeddan in… more

• C of E to Reinstate Blood Sacrifice! From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (5 days old)

  The Most Reverend and Right Honourable Dr. Rowan Williams is the 104th Archbishop of Canterbury. This morning speaking at the General Synod Meeting being held at the Memorial Hall, St Peter's Colleg… more

• Projectile Vomiting New Olympic Event 2012! From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (5 days old)

  London Mayor Boris Johnson today announced that the British Olympic Committee for 2012 have introduced Projectile Vomiting as an Olympic event. "It makes perfect sense" said Boris "there's plent… more

• Alan Johnson Defends Prof Nutt Sacking! From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (6 days old)

  Home Secretary Alan Johnson says Prof David Nutt went against a "long established" government principle by telling the truth. Two members of the Advisory Council on the Misuse of Drugs have resi… more

• Osama Bin-Laden joins Masonic Lodge! From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (6 days old)

  One time international terrorist and all-round bad boy, "Ossybin" has now fully integrated with Worcestershire Society by joining the regional Masonic Lodge. "He will be a great asset", enthuse… more

• Afghan "Leader" Hamid Karzai bans The Dead Synapses Society! From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (6 days old)

  Afghanistan’s Unpopular b*stard, puppet-President Hamid Karzai, has taken another drastic step in his clampdown on any form of criticism of his regime by shutting down all internet cafe's which prov… more

• Fry Missing Again! From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (7 days old)

  Stephen Fry, the quick witted butler in Jeeves and Wooster, and the 'Oxbridge educated' host of TV panel quiz game QI, has gone missing again, fuelling speculation that, this time, he may be gone fo… more

• Trick or Treat! From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (7 days old)

  Reports are coming in from all over the UK of children as young as 5 demanding money with menaces! Chief Superintendant Hal O'Ween said "I think these reports are very unlikely. There are very … more

• Masturbation to be Taught at all U.K. Schools. From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (16 days old)

  Ed Balls MP, Secretary of State for Children, Schools and Families announced today that masturbation, or wanking as it's known to most young boys, will be required teaching at all schools in the U.K… more

• Global Warming-Cause Finally Identified! From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (17 days old)

  Scientists at the University of Reykjavik claim they have solved the mystery of global warming. A team of forensic diabologists led by the Rev. Dr. Iranius Celsius found startling evidence that … more

• UK Probe Probes Impact of Probes! From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (17 days old)

  Recent probes into Footballers Wives, Church Sex and Corporate Finance Excess have sparked public demand for intrusive new probes into every orifice of British life. "Polls show that people love… more

• Someone Is Always Getting Screwed. From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (18 days old)

  Ancient scripts discovered in Cyprus reveal that despite popular belief, prostitution is NOT the world's oldest profession. It seems that honour falls to politicians. The manuscripts discovered i… more

• New Diet Plan Set to take the Nation by Storm. From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (18 days old)

  A new weight loss plan is set to sweep the United Kingdom and it is endorsed by the Government and actually works, some experts are calling it the best diet plan of all time. The diet, known as '… more

• Brown Orders VW Beetles for Troops! From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (18 days old)

  Gordon Brown announced today that the United Kingdom government would stop supplying troops in Afghanistan with Mine Resistant Ambush Protected (MRAP) vehicles and replace the entire fleet with 1961… more

• Sex Problem_Ask Dr Lobon. From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (19 days old)

  Dear Dr Lobon, I am not cut. Is that the reason why my dick is so skinny? James O September 22, 2009 Dr Lobon replies: There is an ongoing debate within the medical profession about the pr… more

• Porno Speeds Up Innovation. From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (19 days old)

  Pornography often gets bad publicity, but it is the insatiable desire of the British public for sexually-explicit entertainment that creates many of the technical innovations the world relies on. … more

• Get A Second Opinion! From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (20 days old)

  Throughout history there have been times when a new disease or disorder has been discovered and successfully diagnosed. Yet for some reason, the new disease then becomes a popular diagnosis among pr… more

• Potato Salad Lust! From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (20 days old)

  When it comes to food stuffs I am obsessed with the tangy, creamy taste of a homemade potato salad. "Ecstasy in a Bowl," I like to call it. I have sampled some very tasty batches in my day, too. … more

• Sex Doll Stabbed! From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (20 days old)

  When Linda Bellingham ended a seven-year relationship with David Sadler of Southend a month ago, her reasons were only too familiar to most women who break up with their boyfriends. He was a boo… more

• Difficulty Reaching Orgasm? Blame it on your Jeans! From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (21 days old)

  And no, that's not a misprint. A new study published yesterday by the prestigious Kuros Centre for Sexual Studies, claims that skin tight, denim jeans are to blame for the increasing numbers of … more

• How Caring is Your Nurse? From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (21 days old)

  Nursing Staff are to be assessed and rated according to the levels of empathy and care they give to patients under a new initiative to raise standards in the NHS. Health Secretary Andy Burnham sa… more

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