http://Crusader.blog.co.uk/Comedy - Sex Fun - Satire - Spoof - Parody - News - Political Comment - Medieval History and perhaps the odd bit of Humour. Most of the people, events and corporations mentioned on this site are completely fictional and bear no resemblance to anyone or anything, living, dead or neo-Labour. Anything bearing any resemblance to anything else anywhere or anywhen in the universe, including alternate timelines or planes of reality, are the result of circumstances defined by advanced mathematical models beyond my ability to control or indeed understand. As for the rest, everything true is true, and everything false is done for the purpose of satire, defined as "irony or caustic wit used to expose or attack human folly" (English Heritage Dictionary, 4th ed. abr., 2001), and defined by my lawyers as protected speech, so do get over it. You use this website at your own risk; I will accept no responsibility for any injury, mental or physical, to yourself or others, directly or indirectly caused by reading these pages. By viewing this Blog you agree not to sue me, but to laugh heartily at my humour, and to recommend the Society to at least one new person each day you visit the site. *Legal Copyright of DSS(c)2009en-EUMokoFeed10http://Crusader.blog.co.uk/http://data5.blog.de/design/preview/43/f2aac5bbff7458f2a7a9cc73d29e22_160x200.jpghttp://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/11/06/siamese-twin-sisters-to-split-7319958/tag:crusader.blog.co.uk,2009-11-06:/2009/11/06/siamese-twin-sisters-to-split-7319958/Fri, 06 Nov 2009 16:09:31 +0100 <p><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/465/4082465_0dd887fb1a_m.jpg" alt="siamese_twins"><br> <strong>In what has turned out to be quite a shocking story, Siamese twin sisters Alecia and Gabrio Chinzano are to split up over an apparent illicit affair.</strong></p> <p>Alecia Chinzano had been seeing boyfriend, Tom for about 5 weeks, when one day she looked over her shoulder and saw him 'getting off' with her twin sister Gabrio.</p> <p>"There they were going at in hammer and tongue. Well, not so much hammer, really. </p> <p>But right behind my back. I was gutted" said Alecia in a recent interview in NUTs Magazine.</p> <p>The man involved, Tomas O’Brien said: "It was an honest mistake. I mean, they are twins. There's not much different between them. Except that Gabrio usually has a hammer in her hand."</p> <p><strong>Life is said to continue in its usual fashion. </strong> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/11/06/siamese-twin-sisters-to-split-7319958/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>lifecomedysiamesetwinsdeceptioninterestingaffairsexspoofhumourhumorsatirefantasyfunnyentertainmentjokeshttp://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/11/06/siamese-twin-sisters-to-split-7319958/#commentshttp://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/11/06/flying-pig-spotted-over-scarborough-7318499/tag:crusader.blog.co.uk,2009-11-06:/2009/11/06/flying-pig-spotted-over-scarborough-7318499/Fri, 06 Nov 2009 11:50:49 +0100 <p><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/787/4081787_210d894cfc_m.jpg" alt="Flying_Pig Over Scarborough"><br> <strong>Approximately 200 people spotted a flying pig over Scarborough yesterday. </strong>The event occurred at around 13:30hrs and said pig continued to soar about for approximately thirty minutes, much to the amazement of the crowd that gathered in awe.</p> <p>Credit, or blame as some may say, has been given to Charles A. Vacanti, MD, a renowned anesthesiologist and a pioneer in the field of tissue engineering research, Chairman of the Department of Anesthesiology, Periopoerative and Pain Medicine.</p> <p>Professor Charles Vacanti became famous when he successfully implanted an engineered human ear on the back of a mouse in 1995.</p> <p>When asked about the event Professor Vacanti said "Although it is true that we are now concentrating our efforts on implanting engineered wings on a pig, none of our tests so far have been successful.</p> <p>A specimen did escape yesterday, but I assure you that the event witnessed by people was nothing more than a ball that somebody had thrown very hard, and was filled with helium, and was painted to look like a pig, and had robotic parts installed to give it realistic pig-style movements, and had a tape recorder inside it which was emitting the oink noises, and mechanisms to make it poop on people's heads, and something inside it that gave off the pig smell."</p> <p>The spotting is now being followed by multiple reports of flying apes, aardvarks, and armadillos. Dr. Vacanti is laughing off these further sights as nothing to do with his research, and is quoted as saying <strong>"Elephants with wings? And pigs might fly!" </strong></p> <p><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/807/4081807_45d6dd23f8_m.jpg" alt="Pigs_Might_Fly"></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/11/06/flying-pig-spotted-over-scarborough-7318499/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>comedyfunnyfantasypigsmightflysatirespoofsciencestemcellresearchhumourhumorflyingpighttp://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/11/06/flying-pig-spotted-over-scarborough-7318499/#commentshttp://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/11/06/teenager-seen-using-public-phone-7318375/tag:crusader.blog.co.uk,2009-11-06:/2009/11/06/teenager-seen-using-public-phone-7318375/Fri, 06 Nov 2009 11:29:22 +0100 <p><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/731/4081731_2a8e1f9bb6_m.jpg" alt="Girl_On_Public_Phone"><br> <strong>Embarrassed- fifteen-year-old, Katie Price, was spotted making a call from a public phone booth yesterday evening.</strong> </p> <p>"Look my mobile just freaked out on me, honest it did!" she pleaded to passers-by as they gave her knowing looks. "I had no choice," she said when DSS went round to her house to investigate. "I just had to get in touch with Rebecca!" </p> <p>But when the shame faced teenager finally managed to speak to her best friend on the public telephone, bad things happened. "She couldn't understand a word I was saying, she's so used to txt messages that normal phone speak was way beyond her."</p> <p>Worse still, the two have fallen out over the unfortunate incident. </p> <p>"Rebecca feels too embarrassed to be Katie's friend," said Rebecca's new best friend, Jennifer Nipple. "In fact, she's not texting to her anymore."</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/11/06/teenager-seen-using-public-phone-7318375/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>spoofjokesfunhumorcallboxteenagerentertainmenthumoursatirefunnycomedypublicphonehttp://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/11/06/teenager-seen-using-public-phone-7318375/#commentshttp://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/11/05/new-nostradamus-predictions-found-7314162/tag:crusader.blog.co.uk,2009-11-05:/2009/11/05/new-nostradamus-predictions-found-7314162/Thu, 05 Nov 2009 19:06:18 +0100 <p><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/611/4079611_91d5a62061_m.jpg" alt="nostradamus_predictions"><br> <strong>Prophecies made by Nostradamus, </strong>uncovered for the first time since the 16th century, state that Uri Gellar is actually set to rise to prominence in the world of astrophysics, and become one of the most under-estimated minds in modern history.</p> <p>According to the discovered prophecies by Nostradamus "The loon who bends the spoon, Will teach us all about the Moon and associated universe". The normally loose interpretations associated with the soothsayer's prophecies are not even required in these previously unseen writings. Gellar, whose hobbies include inflating his own ego, is delighted to finally be getting the recognition he deserves.</p> <p><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/623/4079623_d66b52d038_m.jpg" alt="Uri_Geller_Predictions"></p> <p>Pope Benedict XVI released the writings after over five hundred years of the Vatican concealing them. Catholic bigwigs hid them away in the 1500s because they feared that people would start a "God is Pants" campaign as a result. However, when the Pope (a big fan of Gellar's antics) saw the documents in the back of the naughty cupboard in his office, he decided to release them to the general public.</p> <p>Descendants of the French monk are set to make a fortune from royalties now these predictions are uncovered. It is set to propel Nostradamus from the unprofitable geeky teenager market, to the big bucks of the mass-marketised, media-manipulated middle-classes. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/11/05/new-nostradamus-predictions-found-7314162/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>satirehumorinterestingsciencehumournostradamuspredictionsurigellarfantasycomedyjokesfunlifefunnyspoofhttp://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/11/05/new-nostradamus-predictions-found-7314162/#commentshttp://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/11/05/the-illness-debate-continues-7311197/tag:crusader.blog.co.uk,2009-11-05:/2009/11/05/the-illness-debate-continues-7311197/Thu, 05 Nov 2009 11:02:36 +0100 <p><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/325/4078325_38661ada27_m.bmp" alt="Feeling_Sick"><br> <strong>Once upon a time and not that long ago, the UK just had to worry about its raging drug problem.</strong> Now, there is a new social plague hitting our streets, and it is people who deal and take illness purely for recreational purposes.</p> <p>What seems to have initiated this social catastrophe is said to be when school Head Teachers started to encourage school attendance by allowing free drug use. </p> <p>Having the Head say "it's cool to deal in school" ended the fun aspect of drugs for kids, and so they looked for a new, more socially unacceptable way to waste their young lives.</p> <p>The conditions for recreational illness to catch on were now in place. Already big in south-east Asia, youngsters there got addicted as young as 12, by injecting themselves with poultry flu. The dealers soon found that it was possible to take advantage of the untapped UK market. Batches of the Flu and Hypothermia arrived here from Thailand it is believed by smugglers, hiding diseases from customs in their comedy-oversized designer sunglasses.</p> <p>Illness use among the young population of the UK is growing rapidly. It is estimated that "clubbers" aged 18-25 are most at risk, especially from evil dealers in Swine Flu and AIDS. </p> <p>But unfortunately once addicted to AIDS, there is no chance of survival. Police have tried to arrest the dealers, or the "HIV Positives" as they are known on the street, but have found it difficult to identify them. </p> <p>MPs have been quick to criticise a growing "Illness Culture" that attracts young people. The success of the film <strong>"Paramedic Spotting" </strong>worries them the most. The film presents a journey through the eyes of people confused between the reality of their tumours, and the illusion of their cancer-induced hallucinations. A later film, "Human Public Transport", was pretty much the same idea, but involved "townie" characters, who revelled in the trendy illness Whooping Cough and Rickets’.</p> <p>Some people believe that the best way to cure the illness problem is by adopting a "zero-tolerance" attitude. This will involve lessons in schools on the evils of illness (the sneezing, the rashes, the coughing and death, etc), as well as arresting everyone caught with an illness. Those caught with H1N1 will be whisked away into long term quarantine, whilst those with AIDS will be given tough life sentences. Supporters say that due to the short life span of these degenerates, they won't overcrowd prisons for too long.</p> <p>On the other hand, some people think that some "soft" illnesses should be decriminalised, so that police can focus their resources on the "hard" illnesses of Cancer, AIDS and Hepatitis B. They also state that some soft illnesses are no more dangerous than legal illnesses such as hypochondria and gangrene. </p> <p>This libertarian approach will be very controversial law, though, and will probably never ever ever ever happen.</p> <p><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/329/4078329_f0af90e5b5_m.jpg" alt="Illness_debate"></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/11/05/the-illness-debate-continues-7311197/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>swineflusatireaidshumorentertainmentcomedyspooffuninterestinghealthfunnyjokesviralflufeelingsickfantasyhttp://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/11/05/the-illness-debate-continues-7311197/#commentshttp://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/11/05/masked-raider-strikes-again-7311011/tag:crusader.blog.co.uk,2009-11-05:/2009/11/05/masked-raider-strikes-again-7311011/Thu, 05 Nov 2009 10:28:30 +0100 <p><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/258/4078258_92792e59b5_m.jpg" alt="Masked_Raider"><br> <strong>The Masked Raider of Swansea,</strong> known locally as “The Masked Raider of Swansea” and nationally as “The Masked Raider of Swansea” yesterday spoke out against people who tease ants by laying a trail of lemon curd from their nest to a flaming pit of tar.</p> <p>"It's just awful," said the Masked Raider. "It should be stopped."</p> <p>I was convinced and if you are too, please write to -</p> <p>Stop Ants Falling Into Flaming Pits Of Tar By NOT Laying False Trails Of Lemon Curd<br> <strong>Formica House</strong><br> P.O.Box 212<br> London<br> SW3 898 </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/11/05/masked-raider-strikes-again-7311011/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>comedyjokesfunnyspoofmaskedcrusadermaskedraiderformicafantasynewsfuninterestingantshumourhumorhttp://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/11/05/masked-raider-strikes-again-7311011/#commentshttp://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/11/04/us-flag-satanical-7306057/tag:crusader.blog.co.uk,2009-11-04:/2009/11/04/us-flag-satanical-7306057/Wed, 04 Nov 2009 15:47:07 +0100 <p><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/835/4075835_86d8efb5f5_m.jpg" alt="Stars_and_Stripes"><br> <strong>A study conducted here in the UK by professional scientists who wish to remain anonymous due to the controversial nature of their findings, discovered that many features of the American flag were Satanical in nature.</strong></p> <p>The Stars and Stripes all American flag, which has been gazed lovingly upon by many a patriotic American, is in fact a very complex pattern incorporating more Satanic symbols than the T-shirts worn by six hundred and sixty-six crazed Ozzy Osbourne fans prancing gleefully into the deepest annuls of hell.</p> <p>Let us begin with the stars found in the upper left hand corner of the flag. These are not innocent four-pointed stars such as the one seen above Jesus in the manger, or holy six-pointed stars of David. No. They are five-pointed stars of the sort used only by Lucifer and his evil cohorts.</p> <p>They are white upon a blue background truly chaste-seeming to the average observer. But if one looks more closely, one may realize that the complimentary colour of blue is orange, and the opposite of white is black. Black and Orange the colours of the most Satanic Celebration ever conceived: Halloween!</p> <p>Not one, not two, but fifty of these monstrosities are to be found on the American flag.</p> <p>Let us next consider the stripes which cover the rest of the cloth the Americans unknowingly allow to represent their country.</p> <p>There are thirteen of them. Thirteen! The number so unlucky that many successful hotel chains number floors one through to twelve, then spontaneously skip to fourteen.</p> <p>But the number goes beyond such a petty amount of bad luck as the number thirteen. If one were to multiply it by the number of stars (fifty), then add the number of white stripes (six), add to that the three branches of the American Government, then the number of red stripes (seven), one would end up with an even more interesting number.</p> <p><strong>13x50+6+3+7= 666</strong></p> <p>Suddenly this bit of cloth's cult-like following doesn't seem so angelic, now does it?</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/11/04/us-flag-satanical-7306057/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>usasatireinterestingjokeslucifersatanstarsandstripesamericafantasyspoofdevilhumourfunentertainmenthumorhttp://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/11/04/us-flag-satanical-7306057/#commentshttp://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/11/04/prince-harry-to-command-sas-7304994/tag:crusader.blog.co.uk,2009-11-04:/2009/11/04/prince-harry-to-command-sas-7304994/Wed, 04 Nov 2009 12:46:47 +0100 <p><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/347/4075347_d0110fb944_m.jpg" alt="Prince_Harry"><br> <strong>Whitehall – London: </strong>In a press conference today arranged at the UK Ministry of Defence, Brigadier General Sir Spencer Cameron confirmed growing speculation that Prince Harry (third in line to the British and Commonwealth throne) is to become Regimental Commander of 22 SAS Regt.</p> <p>He added: - "The prince has already had extensive training in the art of tactical combat despite his young demeanour and oddly ginger hair (which initially was thought of as a tactical disadvantage especially in covert night time operations)."</p> <p>He continued "Harry has proven himself in action already against the Taliban in Afghanistan, outside a few night clubs in London’s West End with the press. After all staring down the lens of a camera is not that different to a barrel of a gun". "He even disarmed a photographer".</p> <p>Harry has a real military pedigree", he continued "After all his father was a Major ” errrr I mean his grandfather, father and his uncle have all seen service errrrrrr in the armed forces."</p> <p>Comment came later from SAS veteran and best selling author Andy McNab. </p> <p>He is quoted as saying:-</p> <p><strong>"I really don't think that this is such a great idea - like" "for a start he will have nay respect like from tha' lads."</strong> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/11/04/prince-harry-to-command-sas-7304994/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>entertainmentfunjokesinterestinghumormonarchyafghanistanfunnypoliticssasfantasyarmymilitaryprinceharryhttp://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/11/04/prince-harry-to-command-sas-7304994/#commentshttp://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/11/04/santa-claus-forced-to-outsource-7304302/tag:crusader.blog.co.uk,2009-11-04:/2009/11/04/santa-claus-forced-to-outsource-7304302/Wed, 04 Nov 2009 10:48:16 +0100 <p><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/096/4075096_58e2c9f4b9_m.jpg" alt="Santas_Workshop"><br> <strong>NORTH POLE (Bloomberg Report)-</strong>Prohibitive production problems and local labour loopholes have forced Old Nic’s little helpers to seek alternative budgetary strategies or else cease global toy distribution operations altogether.</p> <p>"If it's not one thing, it's something else," a harried Santa exclaimed in a hasty walking interview through the frigid fun factory. And that's no overstatement. Kris Kringle has been ambushed from all sides; a plight outsiders say could have been avoided with a little common business sense.</p> <p>Situated literally in the middle of nowhere, Santa's workshop presents a unique challenge to delivery services. Until recently, get-it-there giants have garnered free advertisement from annual contracts to transport raw materials transformed into trillions of toys by the minuscule minions of the Man of Mirth. But the latest negotiations have put the kiddie caterer into a virtual strangle hold. "Toys don't grow on trees, you know," Mrs. Claus sighed in frustration.</p> <p>Making things worse, the elves themselves have thrown the entire enterprise into a state of turmoil. Factions on both sides of the polar production plant are at odds, putting the December delivery date in jeopardy. The Northernmost Occupational Elfin League <strong>(NOEL)</strong> strongly opposes efforts of the Yokel Union of Labouring Elves <strong>(YULE)</strong> to organize the occupational oversight of the wee wilderness workers.</p> <p>Though they've worked blissfully for decades without outside interference, the aging arctic aggregate have become concerned about Santa's ability to provide for their elderly care.</p> <p>Millions of additional Christmas lists have also put a substantial strain on selecting and sending toys to the world's children. Though they don't involve themselves in the religious activities surrounding Christmas, those who espouse Ramadan, Chanukah, and Kwanza have come out' to appreciate the commercial appeal of Christmas. </p> <p>So, now it's not just the Christians Santa must satisfy, but the other kids in the neighbourhood as well. This has added considerably to both the volume on the sleigh and the number of miles the reindeer must traverse, not to mention the extra chimneys Santa must climb down and back up again.</p> <p>Contracts are in the works with manufacturers in Mainland China, Sri Lanka, Korea, Indonesia and Mexico to offset Santa's workshop woes.<br> Once finalized, toys will be fabricated at selected geographic sites, allowing Santa to make numerous pick-ups at the strategically located distribution points and deliver from the regional centres, thereby eliminating exorbitant centralized North Pole pre-delivery costs and lessening the total weight load of the sleigh at any given time.</p> <p>So, yes, kiddies, Santa is on track for a record-setting toy trek this year, so don't despair. <strong>But parents beware!</strong></p> <p><strong>If all else fails, Santa has one last trick up his red velvet sleeve: he may soon begin demanding prepayment for what is hoped will end up under the Christmas tree. </strong></p> <p><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/099/4075099_43995ac3e5_m.jpg" alt="Santa_Claus"></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/11/04/santa-claus-forced-to-outsource-7304302/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>christmasstoryjokeshumourxmasnewscomedyfunnychristmasfunsantaclaushumorspoofentertainmentfantasyinterestingfunhttp://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/11/04/santa-claus-forced-to-outsource-7304302/#commentshttp://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/11/03/life-guard-found-dead-in-bath-tub-7299426/tag:crusader.blog.co.uk,2009-11-03:/2009/11/03/life-guard-found-dead-in-bath-tub-7299426/Tue, 03 Nov 2009 16:11:09 +0100 <p><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/516/4072516_1ca8066edc_m.jpg" alt="Rubber_Ducky"><br> <strong>Swansea: South Wales: -</strong> In what appears to be life's greatest irony, Broderick Griffiths, a 33 years old lifeguard who dedicated his whole life to save others, was found dead by his wife Gwaeddan in their own bathtub.</p> <p>"I told him to take a shower; he always fell asleep in the tub." Sobbed Gwaeddan.</p> <p>And just when she thought things couldn't get any worse, the forensic team found a rubber duck inside Broderick’s throat.</p> <p>"In all my years as a forensic scientist, I have never seen anything like this" declared one of the investigators.</p> <p>But this is no isolated incident; two years ago a dog trainer was eaten alive by her own dogs, 2 Yorkshire Terriers.</p> <p><strong>All of these events teach us a valuable lesson; don't flip the coin too hard because it may never return to your hand.</strong> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/11/03/life-guard-found-dead-in-bath-tub-7299426/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>humoursatirefunhealthcarenewsrubber-duckwelshfantasyhumorjokeshealthcomedyfunnyspoofinterestinglifeguarddeathhttp://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/11/03/life-guard-found-dead-in-bath-tub-7299426/#commentshttp://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/11/03/c-of-e-to-reinstate-blood-sacrifice-7298167/tag:crusader.blog.co.uk,2009-11-03:/2009/11/03/c-of-e-to-reinstate-blood-sacrifice-7298167/Tue, 03 Nov 2009 12:25:13 +0100 <p><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/693/4071693_fff7c8e366_m.bmp" alt="Archbishop_of_Canterbury"><br> <strong>The Most Reverend and Right Honourable Dr. Rowan Williams is the 104th Archbishop of Canterbury.</strong> This morning speaking at the General Synod Meeting being held at the Memorial Hall, St Peter's College, Hackney Road, London.</p> <p>Dr Williams said "It is time," he said, "and I feel it is right that religious worship return to its beginnings. Consequently, the Church of England will be instituting blood sacrifice during Sunday Morning Services.</p> <p>Blood sacrifice was common place in Hebrew worship during Biblical times. It is symbolic of the sacrifice of God in providing a Saviour for a broken world. "Christ's sacrifice was all about the spilling of innocent blood. This reinstitution of an old practice will focus people’s minds on the horror of the crucifixion and recommit them to Christ every week." said the Archbishop.</p> <p>The Sunday Service Sacrifice will involve the priest holding up a virgin lamb before the congregation and the congregation chanting, <strong>"Hear Our Prayers, Hear Our Prayers”</strong> At which point the priest will take out a knife and plunge it through the lambs heart, spilling the blood upon the alter of the church.</p> <p>RSPCA Chief Inspector Nicky Ramsey was outraged and announced that the society was launching a £10 billion pound law suit against the Church of England and the Most Reverend Dr. Williams. "This is brutal murder," she crowed. "I'll tell you that this has more to do with the Williams family lamb farm falling on hard times than actual religious practice."</p> <p>When we questioned the Archbishop about the financial situation at his brothers, Pete Williams Baby Lamb Farm, the Archbishop recoiled, exclaiming: "You are all piranhas. This is about Church and nothing else. Leave me be or you'll all be judged by God!" He slammed his door and has refused to answer his door since.</p> <p><strong>The new practice of blood sacrifice is scheduled to begin in January 2010.</strong><br> <img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/709/4071709_b7aea4acbc_m.jpg" alt="Lamb_of_God"></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/11/03/c-of-e-to-reinstate-blood-sacrifice-7298167/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>funjoyreligionsatirearchbishopbloodsacrificefantasyentertainmenthumorspooffunnyhumourchurchofenglandcomedyjokesnewshttp://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/11/03/c-of-e-to-reinstate-blood-sacrifice-7298167/#commentshttp://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/11/02/projectile-vomiting-new-olympic-event-7293977/tag:crusader.blog.co.uk,2009-11-02:/2009/11/02/projectile-vomiting-new-olympic-event-7293977/Mon, 02 Nov 2009 19:24:44 +0100 <p><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/937/4068937_a5619a8c25_m.jpg" alt="woman_olympic_vomiting_athlete"><br> <strong>London Mayor Boris Johnson </strong>today announced that the British Olympic Committee for 2012 have introduced Projectile Vomiting as an Olympic event. </p> <p>"It makes perfect sense" said Boris "there's plenty of raw talent out there and the event could be accommodated into our games very easily as it would be a field event very little reorganisation would be needed". </p> <p>The Mayor did admit however that they would probably have to invest heavily in plastic sheeting and cleaning products but said that he was sure an advertising deal could be made to lessen the impact of this. </p> <p>The Mayor went on to say that the new event would provide substantial sponsorship to talented individuals, British record holder "Jaffa" Doughty is already pencilled in as our best hope and is keen to finally get the chance to show what she can do.</p> <p>"A mixture of alchopops, chicken soup and goat's cheese does it for me every time" says Doughty who holds the British record at 23 feet, "but given the time and facilities I'm sure I could do better".</p> <p><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/945/4068945_b0429b3820_m.jpg" alt="2012_Olympics-logos"></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/11/02/projectile-vomiting-new-olympic-event-7293977/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>gamesfunfantasypoliticsnewsfunnysatire2012olympiceventshumourjokesinterestingspoofcomedylondon2012http://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/11/02/projectile-vomiting-new-olympic-event-7293977/#commentshttp://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/11/02/alan-johnson-defends-prof-nutt-sacking-7290594/tag:crusader.blog.co.uk,2009-11-02:/2009/11/02/alan-johnson-defends-prof-nutt-sacking-7290594/Mon, 02 Nov 2009 10:29:28 +0100 <p><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/180/4067180_e764ffefae_m.jpg" alt="Alan_Johnson_Funny"><br> <strong>Home Secretary Alan Johnson says Prof David Nutt went against a "long established" government principle by <em>telling the truth</em>.</strong> </p> <p>Two members of the Advisory Council on the Misuse of Drugs have resigned in protest at the sacking. </p> <p>Prof Nutt has said he doubts any "true" scientist could work for Mr Johnson. </p> <p>He was sacked last Friday shortly after using a lecture to say that cannabis was less harmful than alcohol and tobacco, and saying it was upgraded to Class B - against the council's advice - for political reasons. </p> <p>Mr Johnson says Prof Nutt was asked to resign "because he cannot be both a government adviser and a campaigner for truth and justice, as it goes against government policy". </p> <p>He said the professor's widely quoted comment about horse riding being more dangerous than ecstasy was "stating the obvious rather than a scientific point". </p> <p><strong>DSS Comment:</strong></p> <p>A top scientific expert in their field giving information that disagrees with the government’s official stance?<br> Who then gets sacked as a result? </p> <p><strong>Who would have thought it?</strong></p> <p>I was expecting Prof Nutt to be found in a car park in his slippers and a dressing gown having committed suicide by shooting himself in the back with a shot gun from no less than 12 feet away.</p> <p>Sacking seems quite lenient judging by many of the world's 'democratic' governments of the past 50 years or so!</p> <p><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/187/4067187_2ce8cec93d_m.jpg" alt="Baby_Stoned"></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/11/02/alan-johnson-defends-prof-nutt-sacking-7290594/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>ecstasyfuncannabisfantasyalan-johnsonmphumourjokessciencefunnypoliticscomedyspoofjoyinterestingsatiredrugshttp://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/11/02/alan-johnson-defends-prof-nutt-sacking-7290594/#commentshttp://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/11/02/osama-bin-laden-joins-masonic-lodge-7289958/tag:crusader.blog.co.uk,2009-11-02:/2009/11/02/osama-bin-laden-joins-masonic-lodge-7289958/Mon, 02 Nov 2009 08:27:45 +0100 <p><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/920/4066920_24d42a35cd_m.jpg" alt="Osama_Bin_Laden"></p> <p><strong>One time international terrorist and all-round bad boy, "Ossybin" has now fully integrated with Worcestershire Society by joining the regional Masonic Lodge.</strong></p> <p>"He will be a great asset", enthused Elder Mason Jasper Carrot, "the stories he can tell! It beats the one about me mole shooting! And it's one-in-the-eye for those snobby East Midland buggers".</p> <p>Pringle sweater loving "Ossybin", garment and toy gun importer has been a stalwart of the local golf club since moving to Vipers Mount about four years ago. "Pakistan was just sooo cold, and not a decent coffee shop for miles" he joked in a recent chat on "BBC Midlands Today"</p> <p>Questioned about his past, he continued, "That was like sooo yesterday, now I just want my luvely privet hedge, a ride on me mower and an occasional day out with the lads at Edgbaston for the cricket".</p> <p><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/933/4066933_a3bfed35cd_m.jpg" alt="Masonic_Lodge"></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/11/02/osama-bin-laden-joins-masonic-lodge-7289958/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>newsosamabinladeninterestingentertainmentmasonssatirespooffantasyfunnycomedyfunhumourjokesfreemasonryhttp://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/11/02/osama-bin-laden-joins-masonic-lodge-7289958/#commentshttp://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/11/01/afghan-leader-hamid-karzai-bans-the-dead-synapses-society-7285589/tag:crusader.blog.co.uk,2009-11-01:/2009/11/01/afghan-leader-hamid-karzai-bans-the-dead-synapses-society-7285589/Sun, 01 Nov 2009 14:26:25 +0100 <p><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/660/4063660_5db8ae2b72_m.jpg" alt="President_Hamid_Karzai_"><br> <strong>Afghanistan’s Unpopular b*stard, puppet-President Hamid Karzai,</strong> has taken another drastic step in his clampdown on any form of criticism of his regime by shutting down all internet cafe's which provide access to The Dead Synapses Society.</p> <p>"Culturally, this satirical spoof site has been the cause of much disturbance and heartache for our beautiful country", ranted Karzi today at a press conference in Kabul prison where all the journalists are being held, "I have asked my wonderful new judges to rule in favour of this proposal and it will become law.................................................(looks at his pocket-watch).................................now".</p> <p>"That bloody DSS lot are always mocking me and my little purple and green striped robes. So what if I want to look nice or dress like my little friend Robert Gabriel Karigamombe Mugabe? It's a free country, man in it."</p> <p>"The DSS does nothing but bitch and whine about people. B*stards! How can we have stable government if we have free elections? Any ol' wacko could stand for office. They don't appreciate how much I've done for myself..ahem, (cough) I mean our country.</p> <p>The people like being beaten by the police with big pointy sticks. Look at their innocent faces smiling. They like it. We're all quite kinky really. <strong>Beatings are Afghan turn-ons.</strong> Honest."</p> <p>In response, The Dead Synapses Society Editor in Chief Sir John Cornish has encouraged his writer monkeys to travel to Afghanistan and journey throughout the country, spreading spoof stories to the populace.</p> <p><strong>"My fellow spoofers, I call upon you to continue the fight for truth, justice and the bullsh*t way. We must depose this tyrant ruler. Go forth and multiply and spread the word of my blog site".</strong></p> <p><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/667/4063667_f5cbdac541_m.jpg" alt="Miss_Afghanistan_2009"></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/11/01/afghan-leader-hamid-karzai-bans-the-dead-synapses-society-7285589/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>entertainmentpoliticshumorinterestingfunspooffantasyhamidkarzihumourafghanistanmissafghanistanpoliticalhumourjokescomedyfunnysatirehttp://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/11/01/afghan-leader-hamid-karzai-bans-the-dead-synapses-society-7285589/#commentshttp://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/10/31/fry-missing-again-7281351/tag:crusader.blog.co.uk,2009-10-31:/2009/10/31/fry-missing-again-7281351/Sat, 31 Oct 2009 16:43:45 +0100 <p><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/572/4060572_f67b25b762_m.jpg" alt="Stephen_Fry"><br> <strong>Stephen Fry, the quick witted butler in Jeeves and Wooster, </strong>and the 'Oxbridge educated' host of TV panel quiz game QI, has gone missing again, fuelling speculation that, this time, he may be gone for good.</p> <p>Fry first went missing back in 1995, when, appearing in the West End play Cell Mates, he 'got nervous' and, indeed, had a nervous breakdown. He eventually resurfaced in Belgium, where people go to contemplate suicide.</p> <p>This time, however, friends are mystified as to the star's disappearance.</p> <p>Former associates have voiced unequivocal support for the moody actor. One-time partner Hugh Laurie, who has now given up comedy and works as a drug addicted doctor in Hollywood, said:</p> <p>"I'm sure he'll be back bigger and better than ever."</p> <p>Rowan Atkinson, with whom Fry starred in the famed Blackadder series, said:</p> <p>"An accomplished gentleman who hath gone forth to exorcise his inner demons, and to discover new and majestic horizons replete with horny juvenile homosexuals. Verily, Baldrick, dost thou thinkest?"</p> <p>Fry, who is often confused with Oscar Wilde because he tries to be him, has often spoke of being knighted, and may raise his mug once more in December when the Queen's New Year's Honours List is published.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/10/31/fry-missing-again-7281351/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>funhumourhughlauriefantasyrowanatkinsonspoofinterestingblackadderjokesstephenfryqientertainmentfunnycomedysatirehumortvnewsjoyhttp://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/10/31/fry-missing-again-7281351/#commentshttp://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/10/31/trick-or-treat-7281230/tag:crusader.blog.co.uk,2009-10-31:/2009/10/31/trick-or-treat-7281230/Sat, 31 Oct 2009 16:18:02 +0100 <p><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/482/4060482_6f11f4d00e_m.jpg" alt="Trick_or_Treat"></p> <p><strong>Reports are coming in from all over the UK of children as young as 5 demanding money with menaces!</strong></p> <p>Chief Superintendant Hal O'Ween said "I think these reports are very unlikely. There are very strict laws in this country about minors calling at people's houses to collect money or goods for charity.</p> <p>I hardly think it is possible that there are all these young children calling without permission at people’s houses and demanding money and other things for themselves with menaces".</p> <p>Although DSS interviewed a number of elderly people at Maidstone Shopping Centre this afternoon and each had a different story to tell. Doris Stokes of Bredhurst told us "I was just settling down last night when there was a banging at my front door". When I answered it a young person calling themselves Rick Ortreat, I think they said, wanted me to give them cash or he would throw rotten eggs at my door!" </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/10/31/trick-or-treat-7281230/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>spooffunfantasysatireentertainmentjoytrickortreatjokesnewscomedyfunnyhumourinterestinghalloweenall-hallowshttp://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/10/31/trick-or-treat-7281230/#commentshttp://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/10/22/masturbation-to-be-taught-at-all-u-k-schools-7223543/tag:crusader.blog.co.uk,2009-10-22:/2009/10/22/masturbation-to-be-taught-at-all-u-k-schools-7223543/Thu, 22 Oct 2009 16:12:16 +0200 <p><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/064/4030064_9bae6f71d1_m.jpg" alt="Sex_Education"><br> <strong>Ed Balls MP, Secretary of State for Children, Schools and Families</strong> announced today that masturbation, or wanking as it's known to most young boys, will be required teaching at all schools in the U.K.</p> <p>"It's reprehensible that some young people are going through puberty without knowing how to wank", Balls said at an early afternoon press conference. "If young people wanked more there would be less teenage pregnancy and incidents of sexually transmitted diseases."</p> <p><strong>The Chief Medical Officer (CMO), Sir Liam Donaldson, agreed with Balls plan.</strong> "Children have to learn there is more than one way to have an orgasm", Donaldson said. <strong>“Our motto is 'sex can wait –masturbate”.</strong></p> <p>Donaldson was surprised to learn that slogan has already been taken "All right then, how about <strong>“don't fuck your date, masturbate?”</strong></p> <p>Sir Liam said he will find some catchier slogans at a later time.</p> <p>Balls did not outline a suggested curriculum for teaching masturbation but suggested that should be left to the individual schools teachers.</p> <p>"I've already got some homework assignments for them", said Canterbury schoolteacher Susan Stone. “I only plan on teaching the basics such as shaft stroking and twat twiddling. I don't think children this age should be overexposed to dildos, vibrators, heated rubber vaginas or French ticklers. That should be more of a college course. But, of course, there is nothing like a good soapy tit wank!”</p> <p><strong>Professor Jane Dacre, Former Academic Vice-President of the Royal College of Physicians and Chair of the RCP’s Women and Medicine working group,</strong> was ecstatic to learn of the new education ruling. “It's what I've been saying all along”, Dacre beamed. “Now we'll all be able to get ourselves off without always having to get<br> laid.” </p> <p><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/066/4030066_84ef265bf3_m.png" alt="WARNING_Masturbation-In-P"></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/10/22/masturbation-to-be-taught-at-all-u-k-schools-7223543/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>interestinghealthcarespoofsexeducationfantasyhumoursexfunnyteachingmasturbationcomedynewssatirehealthmasturbationmasturbationtechniquesfunhttp://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/10/22/masturbation-to-be-taught-at-all-u-k-schools-7223543/#commentshttp://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/10/22/global-warming-cause-finally-identified-7220569/tag:crusader.blog.co.uk,2009-10-22:/2009/10/22/global-warming-cause-finally-identified-7220569/Thu, 22 Oct 2009 06:36:29 +0200 <p><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/790/4028790_df4f48c891_m.jpg" alt="Hell_Fire"><br> <strong>Scientists at the University of Reykjavik claim they have solved the mystery of global warming.</strong> </p> <p>A team of forensic diabologists led by the Rev. Dr. Iranius Celsius found startling evidence that the gradual rise in temperatures around the globe is caused not by holes in the ozone layer or defoliation of the rain forests, but rather by increased activity in Satan’s Province.</p> <p>Using a cutting-edge procedure called thermodemonalysis, Dr. Celsius concluded that the incremental temperature climb that has alarmed scientists throughout the world is caused by heat-generating phenomena that can be traced directly to Hades. </p> <p><strong>For example:</strong></p> <p>-- Snatching of souls is up 31 percent over the previous fiscal year. </p> <p>-- Fire-based torture of the eternally damned is up 55 percent, due in part to triple-digit increases in sloth, gluttony and greed during the 1980s, 90s and early 2000. </p> <p>-- Underworld space constraints have caused a construction boom of blast furnace holding tanks to house new arrivals.</p> <p>The Reykjavik report also cited the Devil's incendiary work here on Earth, noting that the MI6 is now examining what appears to be charred, cloven hoof prints lifted from shredded Northern Rock documents. </p> <p>The report also charges that Satan and his henchmen control oil prices using covert, subterranean destabilization of the oil-rich Middle East. </p> <p>Underworld spokesman Bernie Crisp roundly denounced the University of Reykjavik findings as "all fire and brimstone, no smoking gun." </p> <p>"This is just another example of Satan being used as a scapegoat for man's innate tendency toward stupidity and self-destruction," Crisp said during a press conference held in a makeshift fiery pit in Barrow In Furness, Cumbria. </p> <p>Burnt Burnham, CEO of Lucifer Technologies, a subsidiary of Hades Unlimited, also debunked the report. </p> <p>"Satan, the Devil, the Prince of Darkness, Old Scratch-call him what you will- has been around for thousands of years perpetrating evil in all its forms. Why global warming now, all of a sudden? It doesn't make sense." </p> <p><strong>The Devil himself was unavailable for comment, Crisp explained, because he was away on his monthly recruiting trips to both London and Washington D.C. </strong></p> <p><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/792/4028792_4ae306018b_s.jpg" alt="Satans_Global_Warning"></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/10/22/global-warming-cause-finally-identified-7220569/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>politicslivinghellsatirefunnyjoyfantasycomedyjokesentertainmenthumourglobalwarminghellfirespoofinterestingsatanfundevilhttp://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/10/22/global-warming-cause-finally-identified-7220569/#commentshttp://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/10/21/uk-probe-probes-impact-of-probes-7216316/tag:crusader.blog.co.uk,2009-10-21:/2009/10/21/uk-probe-probes-impact-of-probes-7216316/Wed, 21 Oct 2009 16:22:15 +0200 <p><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/976/4026976_d1e77b1c69_m.jpg" alt="Probing_The_Probing"><br> <strong>Recent probes into Footballers Wives, Church Sex and Corporate Finance Excess have sparked public demand for intrusive new probes into every orifice of British life. </strong></p> <p>"Polls show that people love a good probe," said Vincent Collins, head of a blue-ribbon panel probing the public's renewed interest in probes. "Citizens have come to depend on these probes to keep track of whose getting screwed and who's doing the screwing." </p> <p>The House of Commons Subcommittee on Bipartisan Probes today announced new probes into Iranian nuclear capabilities, Peter Mandelson’s secret diaries’ and Alastair Darling's trousers, while the CPS launched a fresh probe of ex RBS CEO Fred Goodwin's large intestine.</p> <p>Body-cavity probes at U.K. airports are at an all-time high according to a Daily Telegraph probe. And the Daily Star is probing reports of proctologists who charge patients for unnecessary probing. </p> <p>Meanwhile, a Private Eye probe led to shocking reports on Tony Blair's aborigine love child, Gordon Brown’s £300-a-day crack habit and Britney Spears' steamy sex romp with Jonathan Ross and Archbishop Rowan Williams.</p> <p>The FSA is probing allegations of financial irregularities in Madonna's adoption war-chest. And writs have been issued for a government probe into whether MI5 has been probing MI6 or vice versa.</p> <p><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/994/4026994_b3611d15c5_m.jpg" alt="I_Love_Being_Probed"> </p> <p>Experts in the fast-growing probe industry predict future investigations into Football Pools insider trading, Political Liposuction and Muammar Gaddafi’s Harem. </p> <p><strong>Because probes are believed to have a positive economic impact, Treasury Department officials have launched a probe into the possible benefits of converting to a probe-based economy. </strong></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/10/21/uk-probe-probes-impact-of-probes-7216316/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>joyspoofhumoursatireentertainmentprobinginterestingjokesfunnysexinvestigationfunpoliticsfantasycomedymadonnahumorenquiryhttp://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/10/21/uk-probe-probes-impact-of-probes-7216316/#commentshttp://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/10/21/someone-is-always-getting-screwed-7215568/tag:crusader.blog.co.uk,2009-10-21:/2009/10/21/someone-is-always-getting-screwed-7215568/Wed, 21 Oct 2009 14:27:06 +0200 <p><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/667/4026667_ec1c2efa62_m.bmp" alt="Prostitution_Funny"><br> <strong>Ancient scripts discovered in Cyprus reveal that despite popular belief, prostitution is NOT the world's oldest profession. It seems that honour falls to politicians.</strong></p> <p>The manuscripts discovered in a cave near Kolossi Castle state that prostitution came into existence as a direct result of the demand for it by ancient law makers and leaders. </p> <p>Professor Herbert O'Sullivan of the University of Cambridge said "It's obvious that prostitution was not the first profession. They needed paying customers - where were the customers to get cash from if they did not have gainful employment?"</p> <p>O'Sullivan continued "It was supply and demand - the lawmakers and ancient leaders wanted sex out of their marriages, so it was they who introduced prostitution. One of the first known brothels in Babylon was built by politicians."</p> <p><strong>The Professors words have yet to be contradicted, with many observers stating that either way, both prostitutes and politicians will screw you in the end, and it will cost you.</strong><br> <img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/679/4026679_0bfd87f416_m.bmp" alt="Ancient_prostitution"></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/10/21/someone-is-always-getting-screwed-7215568/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>funpoliticspoliticiansprostitutionhumorspoofsexfuninterestingfunnyentertainmentsatiresexcomedyfantasyhumourhttp://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/10/21/someone-is-always-getting-screwed-7215568/#commentshttp://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/10/21/new-diet-plan-set-to-take-the-nation-by-storm-7215460/tag:crusader.blog.co.uk,2009-10-21:/2009/10/21/new-diet-plan-set-to-take-the-nation-by-storm-7215460/Wed, 21 Oct 2009 14:07:51 +0200 <p><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/594/4026594_94c1e95515_m.bmp" alt="Economy_Diet_Plan"><br> <strong>A new weight loss plan is set to sweep the United Kingdom </strong>and it is endorsed by the Government and actually works, some experts are calling it the best diet plan of all time.</p> <p>The diet, known as 'The Economy Plan', involves eating less food and exercising more. Quite simply to lose weight you eat less calories and burn more than you eat. Many are already trying it.</p> <p>Former celebrity fatty Fern Britton, 52 said "The Economy Plan works. You eat less because the cost of food is rising and your income is getting less. It is also harder to carry a lot of groceries home, as of course now petrol prices have risen we are using our cars less and walking more. Hence we are burning more calories. 'The Economy Plan' is the best diet out there."</p> <p><strong>George Brown is taking full credit for the diet. "See what I did? I am helping people, some people say I have made people lose their jobs, homes, hope and dignity. No, people are losing weight. Fact!"</strong></p> <p><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/619/4026619_cc55153a67_m.jpg" alt="The_Recession_Diet"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/10/21/new-diet-plan-set-to-take-the-nation-by-storm-7215460/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>dietingfunnycomedyjokeshumorfantasyhumourhealthfitnessfunpoliticsweightcontrolinterestingeconomydietplanspoofsatirehttp://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/10/21/new-diet-plan-set-to-take-the-nation-by-storm-7215460/#commentshttp://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/10/20/brown-orders-vw-beetles-for-troops-7208497/tag:crusader.blog.co.uk,2009-10-20:/2009/10/20/brown-orders-vw-beetles-for-troops-7208497/Tue, 20 Oct 2009 15:16:50 +0200 <p><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/230/4023230_bdd483b5a2_m.jpg" alt="British_Armoured_Vehicle"><br> <strong>Gordon Brown announced today that the United Kingdom government would stop supplying troops in Afghanistan with Mine Resistant Ambush Protected (MRAP) vehicles and replace the entire fleet with 1961 standard Volkswagen Beetles, and transports made of cardboard.</strong> </p> <p>"We have spent millions of pounds on these vehicles and by the first weekend these kids have them exploded," Brown said referring to the troops. "We have to teach these young men responsibility. You cannot take a 25 million pound vehicle and crack it up the first time you take it for a spin."</p> <p>During a press conference at No 10, Brown was asked if the damage to the vehicles could be attributed to IED's and not reckless driving.</p> <p>"IED's," the Prime Minister said chuckling. "I used that one when I cracked up the Triumph Spitfire. I looked my Dad in the eye and said 'Honest to God Dad the road just blew up under me.' No, can't fool me with that one, fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, teenage wasteland, it's nothing but teenage wasteland."</p> <p><strong>Pte James Stewart from Colchester Garrison, upon being informed of the news stated: "We are all going to die."</strong></p> <p>Besides the Volkswagen Beetle, reportedly chosen by the Prime Minister after a private screening of "Herbie Rides Again," the cardboard transports were chosen because they are considered too light to set off pressure triggered roadside bombs. </p> <p>Brown also praised the cardboard transports because it comes without wheels, and to use it troops will have to reach under it, pick it up and run with it.</p> <p>"These terrorists want to take us back to the stone-age," Brown said. "When they see our troops carrying card board vehicles around them," (named the Flintstone 2000) "they will think they have won and will retreat."</p> <p>Ironically Taliban insurgents were angered when they heard the news. "You ever blow up cardboard! It just go poof! No bang! This bring the Mohammed down."</p> <p>In a totally unrelated story earlier this morning Mr Mandelson purchased every cardboard company in the country. </p> <p><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/235/4023235_ef27a84fa8_m.bmp" alt="Herbie_rides_again"></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/10/20/brown-orders-vw-beetles-for-troops-7208497/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>gordonbrownfunarmyvehiclesafghanwarmilitaryequipmentspoliticssatireafghanistanherbieridesagainspoofinterestingfantasycomedywaronterrorhttp://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/10/20/brown-orders-vw-beetles-for-troops-7208497/#commentshttp://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/10/20/ask-dr-cockney-7206531/tag:crusader.blog.co.uk,2009-10-20:/2009/10/20/ask-dr-cockney-7206531/Tue, 20 Oct 2009 10:07:18 +0200 <p><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/667/4023667_1765fa4e6c_m.jpg" alt="Sex_Therapist"></p> <p><strong>Dear Dr Lobon,</strong><br> I am not cut. Is that the reason why my dick is so skinny?</p> <p>James O<br> September 22, 2009</p> <p>Dr Lobon replies: There is an ongoing debate within the medical profession about the pros and cons of circumcision. In all my years as a practitioner I have heard and read all sorts of claims about the supposed ill-effects of the procedure.</p> <p>But never have I heard that the retention of the foreskin has any effect on penis girth.<br> As a rule I tend to leave any decision on post-natal or early-age circumcision up to the parents, expressing a cautionary note only if their child is a girl.</p> <p>If it would make you feel better, you might consider having your own foreskin removed.</p> <p>In line with my usual practice in such cases, I will not advise you either way on that. After all, it's your penis and, whatever you decide, it's no skin off my nose.</p> <p><strong>Dear Dr Lobon,</strong><br> What's the best method of penis enlargement that will incorporate both for length and girth - a method that can simultaneously increase these measurements?</p> <p>Please suggest the best and most effective method in terms of that.<br> I read about the Manewe method and it sounds interesting. I'm not sure if it caters for my needs for girth increase though.</p> <p>Herman<br> September 29, 2009</p> <p>Dr Lobon replies: Let's just think this one through. If you have a penis that is, say, 6 inches long and 2 inches wide and you increase both dimensions simultaneously - as you desire - by, say, 3 inches, then you end up with a penis that is 9 inches by 5 inches!</p> <p>Are you sure you want to achieve such an unwieldy result? I'd sleep on it if I were you.<br> Also, I am unaware of the man/ewe method you mention, but would guess it is likely to be illegal in most jurisdictions, especially the UK where all animals are protected a species.</p> <p><strong>Dear Dr Lobon,</strong><br> Can I enlarge my penis size by exercise.</p> <p>R Singh<br> October 3, 2009</p> <p>Dr Lobon replies: No, but thanks for the poem.</p> <p><strong>Dear Dr Lobon,</strong><br> First of all, my penis is kinda bent. Will this have any effect when I am having fore play?<br> Second, my penis is only 6 or 6.5 inches long and 4 inches thick. Is there any problem? Is it too small or too skinny?</p> <p>DD<br> October 10, 2009</p> <p>Dr Lobon replies: What is it with skinny dicks all of a sudden? First they're all too short, now they're all too narrow. Jeez, I tell you, some days I wonder if this job is worth it.</p> <p>Anyway, let me advise that a bent, 4-inch-thick penis should be no impediment, unless you use it somehow on the golf course as a directional device during the fore play you mentioned.</p> <p><strong>Dear Dr Lobon,</strong><br> I have a strong fantasy seeing my wife fucking other guys and other females. Is this right?<br> Shall I go ahead and make it a surprise for her by gathering a female lesbian for her or a male?</p> <p>Tony<br> October 12, 2009</p> <p>Dr Lobon replies: Whoever said men aren't caring and thoughtful creatures?<br> Of course, go ahead and make the arrangements. I'm positive your wife will more than enjoy herself and she should love the surprise.<br> Oh, and your choice of a female lesbian is the right way to go.</p> <p><strong>Dear Dr Lobon,</strong><br> How long does cum from the dick stay inside the pussy after sex?</p> <p>CP<br> October 13, 2009</p> <p>Dr Lobon replies: Thank you for your eloquently phrased inquiry. I must admit to a degree of difficulty in deciphering some of the more technical terms you employed to frame your question.<br> Therefore I have referred your query to a specialist friend of mine for an answer.</p> <p><strong>Dear Dr Lobon, </strong><br> I just wanna ask a question. I have a 15.5 cm dick when erect and my girlfriend says it is small. Is that true? And, if it is true, what is the normal, the large and the small size of dicks? I just want to know the range.</p> <p>MH<br> October 14, 2009</p> <p>Dr Lobon replies: By my calculations 15.5 cm in the old scale is just more than 6 inches. If your girlfriend is unhappy about that just remind her that even a Jumbo jet looks small in the Grand Canyon.</p> <p><strong>Dear Dr Lobon,</strong><br> I am a teenager whose dick is 4 inches when I have a boner. Is my dick small, medium or large? </p> <p>Sean<br> October 15, 2009</p> <p>Dr Lobon replies: Put it this way, your penis would be "small" compared to someone whose penis was 10 inches long. But yours would be large compared with a 2-inch penis.<br> Anyway, at your age you should not be so fixated on the categories of small, medium and large.<br> I put this down to the prevalence of such simplistic and arbitrary divisions promulgated by fast-food outlets.<br> So, until medical science catches up and you can drive in to a plastic surgeon and say "supersize me", I'd stop worrying.</p> <p><strong>Dear Dr Lobon,</strong><br> My girlfriend is so impressed with my cock she reckons I should enter it in the poultry judging at this year's Royal Agricultural Show in November. What do you think of my chances?</p> <p>A feather in my cap?<br> October 16, 2009</p> <p>Dr Lobon replies: Not bad, I'd hazard a guess, as long as you don't run fowl of the show stewards.</p> <p><strong>Dear Dr Lobon,</strong><br> As if my girlfriend's unexpected criticism about my lovemaking ability wasn't bad enough, I've been very, very hurt by her next rejoinder after I replied rather gruffly: "That's a little stiff, isn't it?"</p> <p>Hard feelings<br> October 17, 2009</p> <p>Dr Lobon replies: I was going to say it sure looks like you put your foot in it, but it sounds like that's overstating matters a tad.</p> <p><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/687/4023687_b097bcb4fb_m.jpg" alt="Sex_Therapy"></p> <p><strong>Dear Dr Lobon,</strong><br> I've been keen on this pretty girl who's a regular at our local church group. When I finally plucked up the courage to ask her out after the service last Sunday, she seemed a bit cold. I sought of stammered we could do anything she wanted .... you know, a picnic, a meal, a movie, anything really and she just looked straight into my eyes and said: "I just don't want to go out with you. Period!" Do you think I have any chance at all?</p> <p>Rejected and dejected<br> October 19, 2009</p> <p>Dr Lobon replies: Try again in a few weeks.</p> <p><strong>Dear Dr Lobon, </strong><br> My girlfriend always says it hurts when we have sex. Is there a way to make it stop hurting while still being able to put it all the way in?</p> <p>Steve H<br> October 20, 2009</p> <p>Dr Lobon replies: Try vaginal sex.</p> <p><strong>Got a sex problem that needs fixing? Doctor LOBON can help.</strong><br> <img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/211/4022211_a5c88b3242_m.jpg" alt="loss_of_sex_drive"></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/10/20/ask-dr-cockney-7206531/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>jokesmalesexadvicehumorfunnyfantasysexquestionsentertainmentinterestingsexdoctorspooffuncomedysexsextherapyhealthhumourhealthcareaskthedrhttp://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/10/20/ask-dr-cockney-7206531/#commentshttp://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/10/19/porno-speeds-up-innovation-7201192/tag:crusader.blog.co.uk,2009-10-19:/2009/10/19/porno-speeds-up-innovation-7201192/Mon, 19 Oct 2009 15:53:40 +0200 <p><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/554/4019554_ac56ed79fa_m.jpg" alt="Get_Them_Off"><br> <strong>Pornography often gets bad publicity,</strong> but it is the insatiable desire of the British public for sexually-explicit entertainment that creates many of the technical innovations the world relies on.</p> <p>Why, if it were not for pornography, VCRs would still be the size of bedroom refrigerators, and sell for £1,000 each. Early-adopters purchased expensive first-generation video cassette recorders just to watch porn at home. The revenue generated by the sale of those primitive machines allowed electronics manufacturers to do further research and development. This R&D in turn led to better, more compact videocassette technologies. </p> <p>Today’s miraculous DVD Blue Ray video technology is becoming a standard because of its innovative use in the pornography field. Multiple angles, Scene selection, Chapter-by-chapter indexing? All thanks to porn, my friends.</p> <p>Even the Internet, the magical network that connects computers all over the world, wouldn’t be what it is today if not for the hard work of sexually frustrated programmers, desperate to find a way to trade grainy .gif files of naked women.</p> <p>Next time you send an e-mail to your old grandmother, remember to thank your lucky stars for pornography!</p> <p><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/565/4019565_4e15bfadda_m.jpg" alt="Blue_Ray_Fun"></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/10/19/porno-speeds-up-innovation-7201192/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>newsinterestingpornodvdfunsatireentertainmentbluerayfantasyfunnyfunjokessexualpleasurehumourpornographycomedyspoofhttp://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/10/19/porno-speeds-up-innovation-7201192/#commentshttp://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/10/19/get-a-second-opinion-7200401/tag:crusader.blog.co.uk,2009-10-19:/2009/10/19/get-a-second-opinion-7200401/Mon, 19 Oct 2009 13:52:38 +0200 <p><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/281/4019281_f613e99ad9_m.jpg" alt="Get_A_Second_Opinion"><br> <strong>Throughout history there have been times when a new disease or disorder has been discovered and successfully diagnosed.</strong> Yet for some reason, the new disease then becomes a popular diagnosis among practicing GP’s. </p> <p><strong>Let me give you an example. </strong></p> <p>My child was having trouble sitting still in class. He first started squirming a lot, displaying a lack of attention, which then escalated into jumping out of his seat. Then he began running around the room. The teacher and I were both very concerned so I took him to our GP.</p> <p>The doctor diagnosed him with <strong>ADHD</strong> (Attention Deficit Hyper-Activity Disorder). I was not convinced of this diagnosis, so I took him to get a second opinion. And I’m glad I did because it turns out that when the specialist joiner took a look at him, we discovered that he did not have ADHD at all. He just had a slight case of woodworm in his pants.</p> <p><strong>GET A SECOND OPINION! Don’t let the same thing happen to your child as happened to my little son.</strong></p> <p>Signed,</p> <p><em>Geppetto </em></p> <p><strong>Below is my research about commonly over-diagnosed diseases in the past, as well as my prediction for the future.</strong></p> <p><strong>Conditions Over Diagnosed in the Past</strong></p> <p>1600’s Piracy<br> 1690’s Witchcraft<br> 1910’s Homosexuality<br> 1930's Depression<br> 1950’s Communism</p> <p><strong>Predictions for Conditions Over Diagnosed in the Future</strong></p> <p>2070’s Roboticism<br> 2120’s Herpes<br> 2200’s PSBPUD (Personality-Split-Between-Parallel-Universe Disorder)</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/10/19/get-a-second-opinion-7200401/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>fantasyadhdcomedyspoofentertainmentnewshealthcareinterestingjokesfunhumourfunnyheathhumorsecondopinionhttp://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/10/19/get-a-second-opinion-7200401/#commentshttp://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/10/19/potato-salad-lust-7198862/tag:crusader.blog.co.uk,2009-10-19:/2009/10/19/potato-salad-lust-7198862/Mon, 19 Oct 2009 09:48:43 +0200 <p><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/752/4018752_080c1a7142_m.jpg" alt="Andrea"><br> <strong>When it comes to food stuffs I am obsessed with the tangy, creamy taste of a homemade potato salad. "Ecstasy in a Bowl," I like to call it.</strong></p> <p>I have sampled some very tasty batches in my day, too. But let me tell you, if they ever held some sort of Potato Salad World Cup, every gold medal would go to Andrea, the woman I've been seeing behind my wife's back for nearly two years now.</p> <p>I don't know if it's the fresh ingredients she uses, or that extra little pinch of <strong>"TLC"</strong> but whatever it is, Andrea's potato salad really makes the weekends I spend with her while Claire thinks I'm away on a work-related visit something special.</p> <p>You know that old expression "You've tried the rest, now try the best?" </p> <p>Well, when it comes to potato salad, believe me, I've tried the rest, and the one made by the woman I have been stringing along for my own carnal pleasure definitely takes the cake. I mean, I used to think I was quite handy in the kitchen myself, but Andrea's cooking puts me to shame as surely as my reckless, selfish philandering does.</p> <p>She's not a professional cook or prostitute, but honestly, she's good enough to be. That's why I'm proud to call her mine! I had a feeling she was special even when she was babysitting my children in the '90s.</p> <p>The time I spend at the flat I'm renting for her in Hastings is like a Bonfire Night Special: Potato salad in the dining room, fireworks in the bedroom! It’s the kind of special occasion where I say, "You know what? Forget the extra calories and the risk of spreading an STD to my wife on one of our rare, hellish couplings."</p> <p>Apparently the potato salad is made from an old family recipe that Andrea's mother passed down to her along with enough emotional baggage to keep her sexually servicing a man with whom she clearly has no future.</p> <p>The salad alone would be enough to win me over, but Andrea is great at so many things. Terrific coleslaw, a willingness to wait indefinitely for a divorce I have no intention of getting, providing the best BJ a man could get, and a flawless "telemarketer" voice when she calls my house and Claire picks up the phone. Oh! And her baked macaroni-and-cheese is good enough to be an entrée. </p> <p>Truth be told, I sometimes feel bad about the whole thing. The eggs have so much saturated fat, and I promised my GP that I would cut my carbs and get more green vegetables. But hey! <strong>Where's the fun in life if you can't cheat a little bit?</strong></p> <p><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/758/4018758_c7aef31100_s.jpg" alt="Andrea_Cheers!"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/10/19/potato-salad-lust-7198862/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>parodyinterestingsatirenewslustphilanderingspoofentertainmentsexfunpotatosaladfunnycomedymistressaffairsjokesfantasyhumourhttp://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/10/19/potato-salad-lust-7198862/#commentshttp://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/10/18/sex-doll-stabbed-7195080/tag:crusader.blog.co.uk,2009-10-18:/2009/10/18/sex-doll-stabbed-7195080/Sun, 18 Oct 2009 17:30:01 +0200 <p><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/824/4015824_ec6c717968_m.jpg" alt="Sex_doll_fun"><br> <strong>When Linda Bellingham ended a seven-year relationship with David Sadler of Southend a month ago, her reasons were only too familiar to most women who break up with their boyfriends.</strong> </p> <p>He was a boozy, lazy, inconsiderate, selfish sod who thought foreplay meant unzipping her jeans. There was no chemistry in their love life; they often argued about in-laws and money, she wanted kids but he was happy with just a dog. </p> <p>But the cut that finally snapped Linda's knicker elastic was when she found David’s porn stash. "I was on my hands and knees scrubbing the floor under the dining table as usual," the shaken Dental Nurse, 27, confided to DSS, "when I discovered a loose floorboard. The bastard had hidden a stack of porn magazines full of naked women with bigger boobs than mine right under where I serve dinner, I might add, that I slave over and serve every night promptly at seven thirty!" </p> <p>After this embarrassing discovery, all hell broke loose. “Linda just went crazy," recounted David, 32. "All of a sudden, she’s got these gunked up pages pressed up to her nose and she’s accusing me of having an affair with Miss Nude October, even though I swore blind I was still doing Miss Anal September at the time. Next thing I know, She’s digging through my wardrobe upstairs, tossing my wank socks into the street. She even chucked my Cassy out of the bedroom window, stabbing her first with her nail scissors,” he added, choking back his tears.</p> <p>'Cassy',as we discovered after much probing, is David’s blow up sex doll. Although the busty brunette bombshell was deflated at the time and only slightly harmed in her second story fall, a crestfallen David immediately rushed out of the house to give his pneumatic lover mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.</p> <p>“Linda slammed the door in my face,” the unemployed shop fitter confided to DSS ruefully. “So I tucked Cassy under my arm and was going to take her across the lake until I realised my boat keys were still in my overalls in the bedroom. So I made Cassy as comfy as I could in the boat and headed back to the house. Linda was angrier than a wasp with a crooked stinger when I came through the door.</p> <p>She ended up chasing me to my van with the non stick frying pan I bought her last year for her birthday and then threw Miss Nude December at me. So I grabbed the magazine and drove to a B&B instead, stopping off on the way to pick up a box of Kleenex and a case of larger.”</p> <p><strong>Linda, Brunette, 34-30-38,</strong> has since patched things up with David, who patched up things with Cassy with the aid of a puncture repair kit! The two reconciled love birds plan to marry next summer.</p> <p>A joyful David put his arm around Linda's waist and gave Cassy's enormous breasts a playful squeeze. “The honeymoon’s gonna be a blast!” He added delightedly.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/10/18/sex-doll-stabbed-7195080/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>satirecomedyunisonfunparodyfantasyspoofnursingsexhealthhealthcarejokesinterestingsextoysfunnyhumourpoliticssexstoryfreesexsexynurseshttp://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/10/18/sex-doll-stabbed-7195080/#commentshttp://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/10/18/difficulty-reaching-orgasm-blame-it-on-your-jeans-7193312/tag:crusader.blog.co.uk,2009-10-18:/2009/10/18/difficulty-reaching-orgasm-blame-it-on-your-jeans-7193312/Sun, 18 Oct 2009 12:50:31 +0200 <p><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/858/4014858_73bdc41fff_m.jpg" alt="Sexy_Tight_jeans.1jpg"><br> <strong>And no, that's not a misprint. </strong></p> <p>A new study published yesterday by the prestigious Kuros Centre for Sexual Studies, claims that skin tight, denim jeans are to blame for the increasing numbers of women unable to reach orgasm through normal intercourse. </p> <p>The study goes on to say: “Whilst other studies have attributed difficulties in the ability to achieve orgasm to cultural, religious and psychological factors, our research has shown that it is the increasing popularity of stretch jeans that is to blame. The combination of modern, man-made fabrics, such as Lycra, impermeable linings and higher gussets all contribute to damaging the delicate nerve-endings of the vagina and clitoris."</p> <p><strong>Phew!</strong> And I thought it was incompetent, tiny-todgered panty-fumblers who were to blame! </p> <p><strong>Silly Me!</strong></p> <p><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/862/4014862_1356050341_m.jpg" alt="Sexy_Tight_jeans"></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/10/18/difficulty-reaching-orgasm-blame-it-on-your-jeans-7193312/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>satelite-tvjokesreality-sex-tventertainmenthumourfunspoofnewssexfantasyreality-tvhallmark-channelsatirefunnytightjeanscomedycasual-sexinterestinghttp://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/10/18/difficulty-reaching-orgasm-blame-it-on-your-jeans-7193312/#commentshttp://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/10/17/how-caring-is-your-nurse-7188141/tag:crusader.blog.co.uk,2009-10-17:/2009/10/17/how-caring-is-your-nurse-7188141/Sat, 17 Oct 2009 15:35:21 +0200 <p><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/057/4012057_757c671ea6_m.jpg" alt="Nurse_Sex_Fun"><br> <strong>Nursing Staff are to be assessed and rated according to the levels of empathy and care they give to patients under a new initiative to raise standards in the NHS.</strong></p> <p><strong>Health Secretary Andy Burnham</strong> said he wants the performance of every nursing team in every ward across England to be scored, with the results displayed on an official NHS website.</p> <p><strong>Talking to DSS Burnham said:</strong> "I recently spent 10 days in St Thomas's Hospital, London. I had what is medically termed(Caput capitis stuck sursum rectum ). Apparently I have been suffering with it for some time. The surgical team obviously played an important part in my care but I can honestly say that it was the attitudes of the young nursing staff that had the greatest impact on my recovery. There is no doubt that a smile and a flutter of the eyelids can have a remarkably therapeutic effect."</p> <p>Nursing Staff will be awarded points for displaying certain behaviours with bonuses being paid to high scoring staff. </p> <p><strong>An example of how the points system might work is published below.</strong></p> <p>1 point for cleansing hands before approaching a patient.<br> 2 points for waving or winking at a patient.<br> 3 points for catheter removal without using the leg for leverage<br> 4 points for a manual evacuation delivered with a comforting smile.<br> 5 points for bed pan removal without turning ones head in disgust.<br> 6 points for a flash of a suspender.<br> 7 points for a surprise early morning bed bath.<br> 8 points for an unnecessary testicular examination.</p> <p>The proposal will be launched in London on Monday at the annual conference of the NHS Confederation. However the proposal is not without its critics.</p> <p><strong>Dave Prentis, the General Secretary of UNISON argues:</strong> "All this scoring system does is re-establish the outdated view that nurses are objects of fantasy. I thought we had moved away from the idea that all nurses were hard drinking, big busted nymphomaniacs from Dublin. 4 out of 10 health workers are male now anyway. When a big hairy hand is half way up your backside would a smile and a wink really make things more pleasant?" </p> <p><img src="http://data6.blog.de/media/074/4012074_8ea5f3fa0b_m.jpg" alt="Sexy_nurse"></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/10/17/how-caring-is-your-nurse-7188141/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>humourfunsatireunisonjokesfantasycomedysexinterestingfunnyhealthhealthcarenursingspoofsexynursespoliticshttp://Crusader.blog.co.uk/2009/10/17/how-caring-is-your-nurse-7188141/#comments